Does anyone else hate their husband?

[spoonset]

Not really looking for any solutions. There are none at present. I just want to know I'm not the only one. Does anyone else just hate their OH?

Maybe not all the time. I can tolerate mine a lot of the time. And I care about him. Mostly. But sometimes I just hate him. His utter selfishness, his thoughtlessness, his supreme self-absorption.

I know I sound angry. I am. I will calm down later.

Can we help OP? If you tell us a bit about the situation?

It's not normal.to hate your husband

Yeah me. I don't particularly like him at all, but like you can tolerate him for short spells. Been trying to figure out how to leave without having to mess things up for my kids (ie move them schools, away from friends etc) but just seems so hard. Sorry that's not much help to you!

Nope, nothing to be done. Thank you though. Not for the time being. I know it's not normal. But there must be other people who do. It's not unheard of.

@siobhan0710 Shit isn't it. Splitting would be a disaster. Staying is almost as unpleasant. It's the kids that complicate things the most.

Why not leave him. Living with someone you hate is toxic. I watched my grandparents and it's put me off marriage for life.

We have a child. And there's no money. And not much support network. And a dozen other reasons. It's not as simple as just leaving.

Me, I have been with mine for more than half my life , we have children , he's nasty , angry and plain rude , I too tolerate him , at times I think he plays mind games, although I could be just imagining it. I often wish he would just up and leave me.

Yeah, on and off. It's hateful day today, being valentines day, he's at sea yet again, and the first valentines since finding out about his cheating, which he aggressively lied and gaslighted about for years. Only admitted it when I had proof, so who knows what else he's done while away from home. He left a card and present, but I'm not particularly interested in opening them. The card especially will have the same hackneyed phrases he uses regularly, which are a load of BS. You're the only woman for me (yeah, apart from the ones you bookmark porn from, and regularly check in with for a thrill, and the ones who offer sexual contact in person)... Etc. Same old stuff he's promised and let me down with before.
So yeah. You're not the only one.

@paranoiamumma That would be easier wouldn't it? For them to take the decision out of our hands.

Can you make a bit of a separate life from him, make new friends, take up hobbies that get you away from him? Basically live together but separately iyswim?
Avoid him as much as possible.

I'm sorry @Alondonleerie How awful to be betrayed like that.

@spoonset absolutely I have days where I long for it , of course those days are when my heads in the clouds and I imagine I deserve better, luckily I work opposite shift patterns most of the time.
It will get better one day it has too!

Maybe not hate exactly. But find highly fucking irritating. Certainly not much love on either side. We keep busy working and bringing up the kids and I guess we try not to think about it.

I would like to work on our marriage I suppose. But I find him impossible to talk to. We just can't communicate well with each other. He has anger issues (it's more complicated than that but no violence or anything to worry about) and can be difficult to reason with. It's incredibly frustrating. He also can't take responsibility for his part in things. I don't know how to persuade him we need serious help if our marriage is to stand a chance.

@paranoiamumma one day!

You have one child so it is possible to leave, your child is in an environment with anger and hatred, what a horrible example to be watching and not fair on a child having to grow up in that kind of home.

What’s the point?

I hated my first husband. I thought abuut it today whilst buying a valentines card, how I used to get frustrated that no one market cards for complete arseholes husbands, they all assumed you liked him!

I have found my people. I'm not sure I hate mine but I do dislike him most of the time and wouldn't be here if it weren't for the kids. He was out all day today until 10.30pm and I was at home with the kids and it was lovely and I felt very light.

I remmeber the first day i woke uo after my ex had moved out. I felt like a black cloud had lifted. Yet scarily I hadn't realised that black cloud was even there for the 13 years before that.

I hated my ex husband and I'm glad he's gone. I would have sold a kidney to pay for the divorce rather than stayed with the selfish tosser.

Another one here.

I am currently trying to have an affair with a bloke at the office.

@Adora10 I'm sure you mean well but you have no idea as to whether it's possible for me, or any of the other posters, to leave. Or what it is like most of the time in our homes. Or which scenario would be best for our children. Only we know, and the decisions we make are based on that.

Way to go Halfwit 😁

I initially stayed for my kids - but in the end I left for my kids. I left for their sake. As well as my own of course!

It is disastrous for your kid to live in that 'black cloud' op

According to my mum, everyone hates their DP at one time or another. Sometimes for months at a time.

The everyday tolerance and care over time makes up for it in non abusive relationships.

Thank you @DioneTheDiabolist that is actually quite comforting to hear.