Sex after child birth

[0MrsP]

How long did it take you to resume a normal sex life after having a baby?

I have a 12 week old baby, I didn't have a very good delivery. Failed induction, failed epidural, baby in distress ending in episiotomy and forceps. On my day 1 home check my midwife asked to see my stitches and managed to burst one examining me.. this led very quickly to infection. This was managed quite easily with a couple of rounds of antibiotics.

I was really scared to have sex after all the above.. after 8 weeks I wanted to try.. it was painful! I've attempted it several times since and it's still really painful.

Is it normal to still be uncomfortable or could there possibly be something wrong?

Poor you this sounds like such an ordeal...

I had an episiotomy and 2 infections.
I didn't have forceps or a burst stitch so its a bit different but not too far off.

Were you given the all clear at 6 weeks?
I did it at 6 weeks and it hurt.
I think it felt normal again after we did a few more times ( maybe 3 more?) and that happened probably around 8 weeks.

I would say get yourself checked again. If they say its fine again then give it a couple of tries? ( have a drink to maybe relax yourself a bit? I remember my first time after my babies was like loosing my virginity again i was terrified!)
Having a baby can be a huge trauma and everyone heals at their own pace. You might not be there just yet.

I'd say if you give it a few more goes and it still hurts then you should request further investigation from your Dr. Best of luck!

Have a little check up just to be on the safe side.

I had a good delivery no drugs no interventions (very lucky) and sex is uncomfy for me still with Dd at 8 months old. I also have NO sex drive. I might go get checked come to think of it.....Haha

4 stitches. 12 months before it was enjoyable.

Episiotomy here which healed well but sex was uncomfortable for at least a year after. Got checked by gp after about 8 months. She said it had healed well but it was the scar tissue causing discomfort. It basically needed to stretch and soften which happened gradually over time. If you're worried have a chat with your gp.

I’d go and see your GP OP to make sure everything is ok.

I had an episiotomy but healed very quickly and we had sex after a few weeks. Little uncomfortable at first but now everything is back to normal

I had epesiotomy and forceps too, it was about 6 months before I even attempted it and probably another 6 months after that til it didn't hurt, just hurt less and less each time.

I never had any infections though and didn't even want to try before the first 6 months, maybe you are expecting too much? Give yourself some more time to heal

@Itswinternow
4 stitches.. is that normal?
I had 22, so maybe I'm being a little hasty!

I will go to see my GP tomorrow but guessing I just need more time to heal.

I waited 6 months but I had no interest in sex at all and I'm not the type to just do it for him

I don’t know what I had stitch count wise as she did it all with one long one rather than lots of smaller ones. I had a second degree tear so nowhere near what you had but it was still 8 weeks before it felt comfortable (we tried at 6 weeks and it was ok but had to be very gentle to start with). I second the advice to get it all checked- have you actually looked yourself? I know it sounds daft to suggest that you’ve not 😂 but once I saw the scar from my stitches I could see why it hurt like it did the first few times. I’m lucky that my stitches didn’t shift at all but it may be that yours were slightly too tight or they may have pulled the tissue slightly differently to how things were prior to the scarring. I know there are some fab American women’s physios who are doing great work with making sure that women don’t end up experiencing constant pain and uncomfortableness after stitches etc by working on reducing the scar tissue, but I’m not sure if anything like that is available somewhere in the UK. I’d also think that perhaps after what you’ve had it might just take a little more time than 12 weeks.

Yeah just 4! Mine was a tear rather than episiotomy, but as pp said, most of my discomfort was also due to scar tissue after healing. I'm 17 months PP now and for the most part sex is good, a few positions cause a bit of discomfort for the first 5 minutes maybe.

18 months. Colicky baby, stitches, PND meant I didn't feel like it.
When you feel like it, is the right time

I had a very fast birth and lots of stitches and tearing to internal muscles. Sex was painful (so we didn’t do it!) for a full 6 months after I gave birth. I was really worried that the damage was going to be permanent, but I’m totally back to normal now.

Maybe get a referral to a women's health physio? There are some excellent ones out there!