Mother knows best ?? Your views

[summersoonplease]

Ok ladies ...
debate with mother today and I'd like so outside input...
Have a partner of 2years live separately but practically spend 95% of our time together when we are not at work.

I have children, I keep my head above water 'just' and he has one young adult that works.

I have been saving for the past 18mths for a holiday ... so this would be me and my children and he would pay for himself.

Having looked at holidays nowhere fancy just Spain it's still a little out of my reach ...
Now my mum seems to think he should contributing towards me going, 'as that's what's partners do' where I can't see why he should but I've done everything on my own and think it's a cheek to think he should help me.
What do you think? When I was married obviously everything was done in partnership but because he's my boyfriend it's completely different.... your thoughts please ....

I agree with you. “Women’s rights” they shout, in the next sentence “well he should pay for you on the first date”

I think your mum is just looking at it in an old fashioned way

Could he easily afford it? If you were my partner I would help pay for you if I could afford it.

Yes he most definitely can afford it, but I think it's a bloody cheek, but fact is it won't be this year because I won't get in debt for it. Mum is very much of the fact , he's always around your house using your resources, he can afford it and should help you to go... maybe he could go with the kids 😂😂 and I'll have a chilled week at home 😂

And if I knew he was in the same position as me I wouldn't hesitate to pay for him .... I wish she hadn't said anything because she's got my cogs turning 🙄

It would be cheeky to ask I think but not cheeky to say yes if he offered! Given that he hasn't offered just keep saving.

So by being at your house all the time, does he save himself money? How much time does he spend at your house? Who pays the bills and food?

If you spend 95% of your spare time together, is most of it at your house? Does he make any contributions to your living expenses?

I am like your mum, maybe a similar age and I would like him to offer to help me out if I were you, if he is round your house a lot, maybe eating there I would at least expect him to say “will you be ok money wise if we go on holiday, can I help you with anything.” If you are happy as you are ignore your mum, if you are not happy, say to him, I think we will have to give a holiday a miss tbh I just cannot afford it. If he doesn’t offer then, well, I would be a bit pissed off.

Cross posted with Hollow talk

If he knows that it’ll be hard for you to afford it and he’s got plenty of money and he’s a nice manI would be surprised if he didn’t say “Can I help out a bit with the holiday? I’d really like to go with you”. But I don’t think it would be right to ask. Does he contribute to your shopping and so on if he’s round yours 95% of the time?

Thanks girls , yes and only recently he's been giving me money towards food and that I had to be guided from from you girls as I was struggling and feeding him and plating up for his ds also. so he gives me £40 ish per week now. I think I'll just keep saving, no way am I asking ...

So you’ve been feeding two extra adults for free for 2 years when you’re just keeping your head above water?

I’m with your mum.