Friendships....

[Ladyomonroe]

Hi everyone, I'm a new member. I am a wife and mother of three, I am also a mother of a child with a rare disease which includes special needs/disabilities. I am a dog owner and animal lover. I am a massive lover of books (memoir in particular), lover of yoga (though I just practice at home so not quite a 'yogi') and a lover of good red wine! 😆. I currently live in the East London area and am a psychology/counselling student, I also have several volunteer roles. All with the aim of eventually graduating and having a great job that I can work around my children (inparticular my son with complex needs). Ok I think that's enough of an introduction!.... Since I've moved to London (which was last year) I basically have zero friends. I mean, if I'm being honest, my so called 'friendships' were not that great back where I'm from and since moving I have really seen what true friendship is. But after one year I would have thought that I may have met at least one other woman/mother who is on the same wave length as me, possibly a mature student just like myself, and mother of a child with disabilities?? But nope, no one. It may sound corney but I always envy seeing groups of women together socialising, and true friendships between women because I haven't really had that for years! And now I've moved its just become more clear. Is there any other mothers out there who find it hard to develop and maintain great postive friendships?

I laughed reading this because you honestly could have been describing me!
I just drove back from the beach with my dog, after having a lovely chat with a dog walking au pair who was telling me about all her explorations and au pair friends and thought how much I miss that feeling of having a best friend on the other end of the phone or to pop into for coffee, walk the dogs (I never had this but it would be the dream )

Sadly I’m not even in the UK so we’ll always remain “missed connections”

I really hope we both find “our tribe”, it’s hard isn’t it?

Where are you located? Daily dog walks on the beach? That's my dream! Honestly, London is temporary whilst the kids are all in education but once my youngest finishes education I'm off to move near the beach! Yea it is hard. My so called 'best friend's from back home has let me down so much over the past several years and favours her new best friend over me, doesn't bother contacting me anymore, it's always me checking in on her. But shell travel hundreds of miles to see her other friends.. I cried about it one day thinking what's wrong with me? It just sucks. Moving I guess helped me to cut ties but it just reminds me of how shitty all the friendships that I thought I had actually were

I’m just across the pond in Ireland!

I’ve experienced very similar and I really thought friend drama would be left behind in secondary school!
Moving is a great excuse to be proactive in looking for friendships though, meetup.com is supposed to be great or mums at the school? I half wish I had being new to an area as an excuse as to why my “circle” is so minuscule!

Hi, I have 3 dc (including a baby) and I have struggled very much with making friends. I am a bit of funny character I think, a bit quirky and I have a hobby that I'm passionate about and can talk about for hours (but this would bore people to tears obviously). I think I am also quite afflicted by my hormones and I can feel moody often, which again doesn't help because I can get a bit irritable. As I've got older, I think I have got more fussy about the company I keep and I have also had a few so called friends who have let me down. I know no-one is perfect but as you say, I can't find anyone on my wavelength (over the years I have grown to know what my likes and dislikes are). Part of me is happy in my own company but I do get the sense of why cant I gel with people sometimes. I am going to try and join a few more groups and also eventually take up some voluntary work, which we hopefully throw me into the path of overs who have similar interests but you are already doing this, so I don't know what to suggest other than to say you are not alone with this issue. Incidentally, I am also a massive book/red wine lover and would also love to live near to the sea (but I think this is more romantic than it seems with 3 dc who grumble about getting sand in their shoes etc.) I am thrown into toddler groups at the moment with my youngest, I pass pleasantries but nothing much else (I get on better with the grandparents usually) and the school run isn't something I look forward to. I have a couple of friends who are pleasant and interesting to talk to but I don't feel I could call upon them if I really needed to and they seem embroiled in their own lives...it's not like a job etc. where you see the same people on a daily basis. I am a sahm and I do miss the social aspect, even hearing people wittering on about inane things. Tricky, I'm watching this thread with interest.

Sorry for the epic post, I guess this is something that is playing on my mind a bit!

I'm quite similar. I adore books (mostly crime fiction and true crime) and hiking with my dog, love a good coastal trek. I have a child, a DH and another on the way. I am doing a psychology degree via distance learning.
I think I'm similar to a PP, I've always seemed to struggle with female friendships and wonder if I'm a bit quirky myself or maybe just a bit boring? I have had times in the past where I have had close friends, but they have always drifted. I'm pretty envious of that closeness of a best friend.

I find now, between working, my degree and my family, also not really having any close friends, that I don't quite now how I would fit a friendship in my life or even what a friendship would look like.
With my DC who is still not quite school age, I struggled with the baby groups (social anxiety doesn't help), but I sort of made some connections, only to find that I wasn't their cup of tea. I also struggle to keep the friendship going, if an opportunity did present itself. Also, I'm quite content pursuing hobbies by myself, kind of like it that way actually.

Yes, I've wondered if I bore people too but it's probably more to do with the fact that I lack confidence. I will quite happily sit on the edge of a group without becoming involved.