Anyones DP work offshore?

[montycarlo]

I am in a fairly new relationship (8 months) and he works offshore, usually 5 weeks on, 5 weeks off.

I am newly divorced the past few months but been seperated for 3 years and this is my first relationship since. So its all new to me, as we did meet just by chance, I certainly wasnt looking for a relationship.

We dont live in the same town, and usually we would travel to see each other (him more than me I should say) over weekends when he is off. I do have a hectic schedule in the week (single mum to two teens and I run my own business from home, so time is an issue i know). Me going away to him for a weekend is sometimes challenging due to this, so always has to be well preplanned.

This week he decided to come to me for the week, so that he could be here for Valentines etc and then we will travel together to his for the weekend, along with my dc.

But, I am battling. Its only Wednesday and already the friction is building. I think its coming from me to be honest. I am so very used to having my own little routine with just the dc and I, and now I have had to adjust that. I work from home and he is here most of the time. There was plans for him to do a sport event while he was here, but the weather has been an issue and its been postponed. So now I am trying to work, but also feeling a bit bad as he is just sort of hanging around.

Argh I dont want this to spoil things, and there has been the odd conversations of him moving up this way as he really has no ties where he does live, but I am not sure if its me just not used to being in relationship and essentially living with someone again, or the fact that he is ultimately on holiday, while I have to just get on with my day to day things as normal. I cant say he has especially lessened the load of things to do, as what I need to do work wise he cant help me with, hasnt exactly jumped out of bed in the morning to get up with me. I know he is tired, he has just finished a 5 week 12 hours day a stint, but to be honest I do more than a 12 hour shift in a day every single day.

Argh, I dont even know what I am asking. I dont know if its the not used to having someone around that is bothering me, or what. But its concerning me a little that if things progress well, how am I going to deal with him being on holiday mode, sleeping loads etc when I am just trying to get through the day.

I also think I just need a bit of an offload here today.

There are FaceBook pages for FIFO Wives and Partners. I believe some of them are very active.

FIFO is Australian for Fly In, Fly Out.

Other than this, I have no immediate advice.

Thank you Sand I will go and have a look at this page.

My DH works offshore, sometimes for 6/7 weeks at a time.

This isnt something that he has done throughout our relationship he started in the last 6 years. In the beginning it was very difficult to establish a routine when he first got home as although it was his "holiday" i still had to work, kids etc and occasionally on my day off I just didnt want to do anything, and he was raring to go first thing in the morning off out for the day and i just wanted to have a lazy day.

You get used to your own little routine without them being there i totally get it but all of that is outweighed by how much I miss him when hes away and how happy I am to have him home. I also think about the fact that he is sacrificing a lot to be stuck out in the sea working and missing out on things so we can give our children a nice life and things that neither of us had growing up, so i dont mind the odd lie in.

I suppose its all down to whether you can make space in your life/routine to have him in it?

Thanks Mama, yes the one being on holiday and the other just having to carry on as normal I found quite difficult. Last week was quite trying I have to say, as much as I hate to say and and enjoy his company, it did put a bit of a strain on things. We did go to his for the weekend, and then everything was fine again.

Of course I wasn't under any pressure then as weekends and weekdays are vastly different.

He did mention as I was leaving that he was considering coming here again mid week this week, and I couldn't really chat to him as dc were there, but I think i just need a time of normal time right now. For me it is a bit of a double whammy as in a new relationship, not lived together or spent more than a long weekend staying together, to now a week and a half of constantly together. So i cant just say it his work really, its also that I don't think I am that used to being with someone 24/7 as well.

I dont know what I want to be honest. I wasnt expecting to go into a relationship when I did, we did meet unexpectedly and so maybe i have to get my mind in order for moving forward in a relationship first.