I wanted some womens' perspective so here goes...
I'm a 23 year old male and know a 25 year old woman who this is about - I will refer to her as 'the lady'.
The lady in question is engaged to a 33 year old man. She told him in April last year to commit 'as they were casual' or she would 'bin him' (her words). Not sure exactly when she got engaged to him but would hazard a guess at late July/early August.
Around November they moved in together to live with each other for the first time. She moved out of her apartment where she lived with her daughter (probably about 7 or 8 years old - she had her child young).
They have moved into a house together but she is paying all the rent and bills. He has only moved his sofa in from the house where he was living previously but still has that place going - he's not given notice/put it on the market. The lady had to get all the references and sort it all out, he did nothing. She had to use the bond she had down on her flat to pay for the bond on the house.
She has not met this guy's parents (they are divorced and both have new partners). Apparently Christmas Day he was speaking to his mum on the phone and he finished the call without passing the phone over (but I found it odd she would want to speak to somebody she has never met anyway).
She told me the parent's sent her separate Christmas cards to her and her fiance, compared to her family that had sent joint cards.
She described him as a 'dick' and said 'I don't know how I am going to fuck him over'. When she left she told me that she was expecting to go home to an argument.
Now, this lady completed a teaching qualification and I know she was excited about this. However this guy's ex-wife (red flag... divorced a re-engaged at JUST 33?) doesn't like the lady I know. Apparently in the summer the ex-wife set the lady up with the police - circumstances I do not know of - but she is now banned from teaching 'while it is under investigation'... whatever that means. This lady is now changing her career plans. I can't help but think without this guy she would be starting out her teaching career now.
It seems she doesn't trust him - she said nothing positive about him - and in October she told me 'if I ever get married'.
It seems to me he doesn't want to commit to her either. He probably proposed so that she didn't end it with him. I've never met him so don't know much about him.
I'm annoyed she put all this on me really. I am concerned for her as I see her as a friend. I am due to see her 1:1 Friday.
Not sure what I can say? I want us to remain on good terms and to continue to speak but I don't think she is in a good place.
I think she wants another baby soon from things she was saying so maybe this is why she is sticking it through with this guy?
Her phone has photos of them both together as the cover and background photo and her social media is them together, but that doesn't mean everything is good.
Surely a better future for her lies elsewhere?
Any advice will be taking gratefully.