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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex partners ex - AIBU

4 replies

Amicrazy121 · 12/02/2019 20:05

I'm finding it hard processing my feelings here so would be great to get another opinion here. My ex and I split for various reasons but have tried remaining amicable. He has children from a prior relationship who i became close to.

His ex has always been a very strong. controlling sort and it's her way or the highway. It's not targeted at my ex, it's just how she is but she can be particularly nasty with him. I had no contact with her whatsoever because I knew she had a rep for being manipulative and I wanted to stay far away from all that. I just tried being civil. However even now I can see how difficult she is being with my ex (nasty texts, critical etc). Children are more grown up but still very much under her influence.

I find the whole situation horrible, and despite not being with my ex, find myself really disliking her again as well as frustrated that the children take her side with ex being pushed out of their lives.
They still contact me and send me cards etc. I do care for the children but I do feel that they can't fully be in my children's lives just because of the mother they have. I just think she is poisonous and it pisses me off that there are people like this who seem to land on their feet whilst being nasty.

I guess I want to understand why she still gets to me even now, I shouldn't care at all but she irritated me before and still does now!

OP posts:
youaremyrain · 12/02/2019 21:00

How are you still getting information about her? Who's telling you and why? If I was you I'd say that you'd rather not know what she's up to

BlueJava · 12/02/2019 21:07

Why not just leave her to it and have a clean break? Take the approach of "not my circus, not my monkeys" and keep your head held high.

Drum2018 · 12/02/2019 21:08

Do you have kids with your ex?

Amicrazy121 · 12/02/2019 21:11

Yes we have kids, and he tells me because he gets frustrated. In a weird way, I still feel part of it all, even though he and I are not together. He has his faults but I can see how her manipulative ways gets her what she wants. I really shouldn't care but it really grates on me!

OP posts:
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