I'm leaving him today

[lagalaga]

And I feel sick to my stomach.

We recently had a baby and I don't think he has any clue I'm about to end things.

He's nice 90% of the time, but that other 10% I can't live with anymore.

Part of me thinks he deserves this heartache for being so horrid. Another part feels extreme guilt for leaving with his son.

I have no idea how contact will work with a tiny baby.

I'm worried he's going to react badly (not hurt me, but he is likely to be very emotional and angry).

I'm scared I'll feel forever guilty for having a baby with him then ending things. It was never what I wanted. I thought things were okay, but my son has given me perspective...

Why is this so hard? Can anyone help and advise?

By the time someone is posting on mumsnet that they have made the decision to leave I think you can be certain that yes, they have tried “talking to him”!

Good luck OP. Protect yourself and your baby.

Leave. Leave now and have the conversation after you have left. Don't wait til this evening to risk him getting angry and trying to stop you. Everything you say screams abusive relationship.

I agree with a PP that you would not be posting this here unless you had tried everything else already. Don't be dissuaded by a few on here.

Here's my gut feeling..go while he's out, don't wait. Go to your friends and get settled in. Then come back alone and talk to him, tell him what's happening, tell him why and say you need space (that buys you time)..the baby is safe from his temper and if he tries to sweet talk you out of it you've got the excuse that you'll be back another day to talk again if he wants as the baby is safe with a friend and you have to go. You're in control, not him.

At the very least you need space and time to think and you're giving yourself that . You're not doing anything wrong. Good Luck.

Don't worry about him not having contact with the baby. There's not much a df can do
fron a practical pov for a 4mo baby, and the baby won't notice anyway.

@Singlenotsingle true. He has a child from a previous relationship and I know that's going to make contact extremely difficult because he is tied to a court order already. I have no idea what to do. I feel sick

You put yourself and your baby first..that's what you do. It'll all shake out over time but it may not if you stay and continue to feel abused. Think further ahead.

I rember your previous posts, your doing the right thing. Do not feel guilty, dont feel guilt for having self respect and showing your son his mum is a strong woman.

What is the court order for with his daughter?

I feel like you should maybe have a better plan in place though, are you going to put your name down for a council property once your settled at your friends?

@Confused2009 he sees her eow and I want my son to know his sister so will need to stick to the dates he has with her.

I'm going to move in with one of my parents. They're the other side of the country though. That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried about contact.

You recently had a baby. Therefore it will be appropriate contact, which at this point will be a few hours with you there. Then build it. Possibly skype/FaceTime contact too in between.

Don't worry about that right now, remove yourself from the situation first then resolve it. It's good that you're considering his contact to be important.