Help

[Lobster84]

How to leave someone you still love ? My ex has abused me physically and emotionally for the past 2 years we went though a really bad time ino we weren’t good together he’s so cruel towards me speaks to me as if am something on his shoe has no respect for me at all calls me names in front of people I’ve never met I can hear it in his voice that he has got hate towards me the shouting well screaming he does has me in tears all the sighs are there he’s in a new relationship but won’t own up too it he’s just playing the nastiest game of all time we had a child together which I think that’s the only reason he try’s to speak to me, after everything that’s happened he’s moved on with his life moved away to another city and am still stuck in this but I love but will he ever go back to the person I met place, a lot has happened between us police social services courts family’s now he’s in jail all of which he blames me for,I cry still every day I feel like my heart has been shattered my insides feel constantly Ill.. I can’t understand why I still love this man the way I do when he doesn’t obviously care about me anymore I’ve tryed getting on with life and forgetting him the best I can nothing seems to work I don’t no what else to do he still calls me and shouts till this day I end up crying thinking it’s all my fault..he says he’s coming to take my child when he gets the chance tbh I’ve never thought that a person can be so evil towards another human being especially a women.. am really struggling emotionally physically and financially which he’s not interested to say the least. I just don’t no what else to do how do I break free of this person 😭😭

am still stuck in this but I love but will he ever go back to the person I met place

No love. I'm sorry but that person you met doesn't exist. It was an act he was putting on to suck you in.

What is your current situation? is he currently in prison? do you have any friends or family close by? How old is your child?

You poor, poor thing.

Have you considered that it may not be about him but about you. As in how you love?

It may be that you have an anxious/ insecure attachment style. And you believe it is what you deserve.

Try going on YouTube and watch some videos on how to value yourself. How to raise your relationship standards. How to fall out of love.

They are not the same as counselling but they are free and available 24/7.

Honestly, you need to break your thought process about this man. He is too destructive for you.

You can do it. You sound desperate and heart broken but you can fix it.

My situation is I feel lost sad but true I have family who are amazing I tell them everything my child is nearly 3 only still a baby.. a lot of people say the same thing it was all a act with him 😢 I just fell hard, he is in jail at the moment won’t be for much longer.. ino am beating myself up bad over him ino what he’s doing is wrong and I still love him like a mug

I do sit and think is it me all the time I am a needy person I admit that, but another thing is I was this person when I met him. I’ve tried everything but I still get drawn towards him.. ino he’s no good I’ve got opportunity’s to even move on but I love him so much I can’t bring myself to even try when ino he’s moved on a long time ago I really just don’t understand how I can still feel this way towards him that’s what am struggling with x

Maybe think about it a different way, he’s going to be released from prison soon. You can be with him or your child, which do you choose? Chances are if you get back with him your child will be removed from your care. Do you love him that more to risk this? You can’t alter how you feel overnight but you can choose who you give your priorities to, I hope you choose your child

yes the question is: what would you tell your best friend or your sister in your shoes? and what do you want for your child?
you don't love him. you love the fantasy of what you thought he was, what he never was, what he isn't. don't mistake the real asshole for the pretend nice guy. you don't love the guy, not at all - only the image. like fairie gold.
you DO love your real, actual child who needs you, who needs a mother who is OK, smiling and well even, and who needs a home free of abuse.

You dont love him. You really dont.

You love the man you want him to be, the man that he occasionally pretends to be. And in his absence (which really does make the heart grow fonder) you have only thought about the "good" man you thought he was.

Thats not him. You dont love him.

And as a PP said, Social Services wont give you much of a choice. Your child, or him.

Choose.

Now.

www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart/transcript?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_content=talk&utm_term=humanities

Read this OP, and make a list of his bad points and keep them on your phone.

It does sound more like an addiction to him that you have than love. It's because he's abused you over and over, please get a lot of support and help to get strong before he gets out. In the meantime, change your phone number before your entire life goes down the drain living in his shadow.

You have a DC to fight for, change your landline and mobile number s and only allow those you trust 110% to have your new number
You have to go cold turkey to rid yourself of your addiction to his toxic behaviour.

He is his toxic behaviour, but although you know this, you need help to distance and extricate yourself from it.
Speak to WA who can give you a contact in your area, and find a freedom programme near you.

You are worth so much more than the scraps he won't throw you. Learn to believe in yourself instead of him, it will save you from him.

Look up Stockholm syndrome, and its not your fault. It's because he holds all the power and you become grateful for nothing as a result of him continually knocking you down then being your rescuer and making it all OK.

It messes with your head, break free for yours and your DDs sake