New relationship advice seeker

[Kjm38]

Hi,

Hope this is the right place to ask I just need some honest advice please.

I've recently got in a new relationship of 1 month. We talk everyday and I wake up to good morning messages and it's moving really really fast, we just click you know and we're both (seem to be) so happy about it.

Well today I got up and no messages, went on all day and I freaked a bit so started messaging her because things are so different, she's reading them but not responding. I probably kept on a bit much and hold my hands up to that but this evening I got a message saying sorry, just needing some time. I get this happens and I've respected it but it's just so different to how things are. I then realise a few days ago she said she is due on. I'm kind of hoping that this is the reason and assume it is so I said I would give her some space, apologised for not remembering what she told me the other day and said I hope you feel better and left it at that. Now I understand a bit about hormones and know this can be common but then I've seen her on social media chatting to her mates like nothing is wrong.

Now advice time please. Is this normal to just exclude the new partner and things be normal with her friends and am I just being a smitten kitten and overthinking it way too much? Or could it be something else? I haven't done anything to upset her in anyway. What do I do please?

Thank you and any advice will be greatly appreciated

Thank you

Hi there..... Firstly, she is probably a bit freaked out at the speed things are progressing and I guess she may not have handled it in the right way.

As hard as it is, it might be worth to give her some space and time to think about stuff..... Definitely stop watching her on social media too because that isn't healthy and will only serve to drive you mad.

The start of a new relationship can be like jumping into the abyss but the best thing you can do is keep your head about you and try to keep your cool.

I am speaking from experience here - as a woman, totm can make me behave pretty weird so just give her some time and see what happens xx

Hope that helps?

Thank you thats really helpful

So even if the majority of the pace has been from her it could suddenly hit her? I know it's not the done thing to associate it with a woman's cycle etc but is this likely to play a part?

You're certainly correct about the social media, been using as a distraction so definitely a double edged sword

Thank you x

I really don't think her period is the reason she's not replying to you.

I would personally find you a bit much. It's always full on at first, texting can drop of a bit.

Just give her some time, if she's always lead she'll come back

Thanks, I'm turning 40 this year so I do understand how it works and that texts drop off.

Just never been in a situation where its just gone in a second and my male friends would say one thing, hence why im asking a woman's advice so some light may be shed from another point of view

Thanks for your input though

I think you probably need to calm down

Sometimes the problem with being so fast and intense at the start is that it's not sustainable and becomes too much.

She's perfectly entitled to engage with her friends on social media without you checking up on her.

If she wants to continue with you she will but bombarding her and being clingy/ needy would really put me off

Be your own person, do your own thing and if you're compatible and both want it then it will fall into place.

Good luck

Please read this:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

You may have an anxious attachment style. This type of style is at risk of really miserable relationships. Please read up and ensure you understand yourself better before you hurt yourself. Xx