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[PinkiePie35]

Not sure if allowed to post this but I need some advice my hubby and I have been talking about having another woman join us in bed now I get really turned when we talk about it and are having s*x but my question is this is the fantasy better then reality. Any advice will be helpful and thank you in advance. X

Yep, fantasy will almost certainly be better than reality.

Dont forget that it wont just be you and him then you and her, it will involve her and him too. Forget yourself for a moment, think about how you would feel watching him getting turned on by her, having sex with her, orgasming with her, kissing her.

listen to some dan savage podcasts.
like pyongyang he also says there will be moments when it's the two of them, and it's not about you, and if you can't handle that don't do it.

That's the problem when we are having s*x and I'm talking about how I would love to see him with another woman I am so turned on and the whole thing doesn't seem to bother me but afterwards I get so insecure about myself that I feel that if we did this it could ruin us but how can I say no if he wants to do it as we have had a 3sum with another man (my hubby and the other bloke didn't interact with each other) and he was absolutely fine about it Afterwards.
P.sWe have been together for 19 years and married for 10 x

You’re allowed to type ‘sex’.

Thank you. Wasn't sure x

It can work, but there have to be rules, along the lines no kissing her, and next time it's you, hubby and another man. See how he feels with that first before you agree.

If you've already done one type - how did that measure up?

My experiences? It's fun. Different, and of course in some ways not as good as fantasy where everything is perfect, but fun. Talk through what you actually want from the experience and expectations/red lines.

Swingers club might work as well/better?

Op, are u also pinkiepie22? If not, fine, but if you are, why are you even considering this.

I have done it and fantasy always better. My partner got very excited about the new person and focused more on them, this does seem to be quite common from discussions I have had. Also, you can’t sleep with this person and then throw them out of the house, they are a person too with feelings that should be respected so they may want cuddles and intimacy after, which can be more uncomfortable once lust is out of the way.

I worked up to it, so got him to kiss another woman in a club first to see how that felt. The most important thing is to discuss boundaries and ground rules from the start.

how can I say no if he wants to do it as we have had a 3sum with another man (my hubby and the other bloke didn't interact with each other) and he was absolutely fine about it Afterwards

"I dont want to" is perfectly fine.

So he was ok with it when you had another man, good. But if you are not sure that you would be ok with another woman then it would be a really bad idea.

Frankly you dont sound like you could handle this at all and I really dont think you should do it. Just explain to him that you would rather keep this particular fantasy in your head and not your bed. If he does try and emotionally blackmail you because of the previous threesome, remind him that no one forced him to do it and he had a choice, just as you do now.

bagpiss no I am not pinkiepie22

I know I have a choice to say no but I feel then it's all one sided I mean he asks me if I want to do it again and the answer is no I don't want another man in my bed my hubby is all I want and need.
I think I could handle it if it was a one of but he is talking about that maybe we become a polyamorous couple and that I can't handle sharing him long term no. I now feel that maybe I'm not enough for him or I don't give him want he wants but I'm very open minded and am prepared to try almost anything once