Fed up being lonely

[namechange21]

I’m mid 20s and really don’t have any friends. A few acquaintances but no one I could call on in times of need and equally no one who would call on me in a time of need.

I’m really down about it but I just don’t know what to do.

I was a younger mum and also had my children in a different town to the one we now live in (which is also a different town to the one they go to school in) so I’ve never formed those Mum friendships that people seem to do. I’m quite a shy and awkward person before I get to know someone so people maybe see me as standoffish or rude but I’m almost embarrassed to speak to people or will be brave enough to speak to them one day then not the next so they probably think I’m a right weirdo. I don’t feel I’m equal to the other mums.

I’ve looked on Meet-up and although I see groups I may be interested in I can’t quite bring myself to go plus many of the groups won’t accept you without a picture of yourself and I don’t feel comfortable doing that.

I just can’t imagine going through my whole life like this and I also worry my lack of friendships might affect my children - they’re never invited for play dates or anything or to many parties. My mum was kind of the same so I think maybe you learn these things from your parents. I’m so jealous of women with strong groups of friends and things going on in their life.

Does anyone have any tips for this? I need a dating app for friends!

There actually is a dating app for mums called mush. Give it a try. Where are you roughly?xx

I think you have to look at being friends with other mums for play dates as like a job. You have to put the effort in, then you’ll probably actually get to know some people and realise there are one or two you actually really get on with.
But you have to make the effort, and it will be good for both of you. Even if they’re in a different town,

Meet-up seems like a massive step for someone who struggles with making friends, it’s a bit scary for someone like me, who finds talking to people quite easy, I still wouldn’t have the guts to go to one.

I think perhaps you need to take baby steps. Start with school and a real hobby.

Find a hobby you actually want to do, and would do regardless of making friends. Book club? Swimming club, yoga? Sewing club? But you will have to make yourself join in with the social aspect, don’t just rush home after, even be the one to suggest a drink or a coffee after.

You’re right though, making friends and being good at it is learned behaviour that your mother never taught you, so think about it like actually pushing yourself to learn something new.

the first step will be the hardest and then all of a sudden you’ll find it much easier!