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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Not sure if its me?

5 replies

thepiedpiper · 11/02/2019 12:39

Brief summary, partner & I got together 5 yrs ago. Both divorced, me from dv relationship, him wife left cos of his non sexual relationship ( best friend)with another woman.
He gave good reason for the relationship and ? stupidly I fell in love with him.
But now it’s tearing me apart, I am included in a lot of their day to day dealings with each other but they message each other throughout the day, he makes any excuse to see her, and even when I’m there follows her around with his eyes.
Her now husband doesn’t seem to be aware or isn’t bothered by their ?infatuation with each other.
Am I reading too much into this ? Can a man and woman just be very good friends without it affecting their relationships?

OP posts:

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/02/2019 12:43

His relationship with her sounds totally over the top and he sounds besotted with her. I'm all for men and women having plutonic friendships but that's ridiculous.

I'm wondering why he's with you and why she's married to be honest. Why aren't they together? What 'reasons' did he give you for their odd relationship?

Original poster

thepiedpiper · 11/02/2019 18:28

They are just best friends.

OP posts:

category12 · 11/02/2019 18:31

Well, it's more a question of whether you let it affect the relationship, isn't it? Her dh isn't bothered by it. If you don't trust your partner, then call it a day. Life's too short.

Boysandbuses · 11/02/2019 19:16

Me and my best friend are like this. Both female. No infatuation.

Any excuse to see eachother, talk a few times a day.

In a group she is always the one I am with. My Dp is her brother and doesnt really have an issue with it. Neither does her husband. Though both joke about us being so close.

My family thought we were lesbian for a while and I just didn't want to come out to them. But she is my primary adult relationship. Dp knows this and always known it and is ok with it, because we were friends before he came along. He had the choice to not be with me if it was an issue.

I also have a male friend who I am close to, not romantically. Again that relationship predates Dp, so he knows the score

whatdoesthismean2019 · 11/02/2019 19:18

If she wanted to be with him, he probably would be with her. Don’t do it to yourself

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