Ended my relationships. Not sure how to feel

[dibdabbers23]

Im not even sure why I'm posting but sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know i guess. I ended my relationship this evening, im pretty sure it was the right thing to do and as usual im putting on a brave face. My kids are 21 and 18 and i had to tell them when they came home. I feel crap because they feel crap, they want to know details but ots not always right to talk to them about stuff.. Why is everything so difficult

How long were you together and what were your reasons for ending?if you are sure you’ve done the right thing then it will get easier...sometimes it feels as bad being the one to end a relationship as it does being the one being dumped.

We were together two years, he lived with me. He is a nice person but there were some fundamental issues just driving a wedge between us. He never shows any intimacy, i always had to initiate things, we hadnt had sex so far this year. I work hard, always have, i pay all the bills etc, plus do all the housework, sort the running of the hpuse, repairs on the cars etc. He cooked tea and works casually, his money was spent on going out mainly and if he did do a full weeks work i didnt hear the last of it. He was kind would all ways say nice things but i started to feel resentful. Why say your gorgeous if you dont show it?
Anyhow i know i was wrong but i found out he meesaged a single woman who we both know out of the blue at 1am in the morning amd i basically lost the plot. Wrong i k ow but hey ho, all the resentment just came flooding out

For what it’s worth I don’t think you were wrong on calling him out for messaging a single woman at 1am-why would anyone in a relationship do that?is it going to be easy to untangle your lives eg the house etc?i totally get the non-intimacy thing - I am in a very new relationship & lack of intimacy/sex is a major issue among other issues...I know it’s ultimately heading one way but I’m just giving it a bit longer before I’m going to have to be brave and speak up.imo I think we as women tend to overthink things and worry far more about ending things than your average man would - don’t mean to generalise but just my opinion.
Sounds like you did the right thing in ending it x

Thank you, yea i know your right the lack of intimacy has been awful, he used to kiss me like your kiss a friend. Really knocked my confidence..i will miss him and parts of our life together but i guess its the right thing.

It will be easy, house, bills everything are in my name, so he just just has to pack and leave

I know exactly where you’re coming from on the intimacy thing-was he always lacking in that department?it’s like I have a cuddling and pecking partner rather than a proper bf and it’s already damaging my self esteem only a few months in.

How long had he been living with you?did he not contribute anything financially to running the house?im sure you’ll get other posters along soon mentioning the term ‘cocklodger’ fwiw I think you’ve definitely made the right decision.none of us should feel like we’ve ‘settled’ regardless of if they have good points-it’s not enough c

He was i don't think i noticed at first but yea. When you cant even have a proper kiss your just living with a friend.

He used to pay for our car which i will be left paying for and used to pay when we went out. As he didnt work all the time i couldn't trust him with any other bills

Well done for ending it.natiral to miss the good sides of the relationship but just keep reminding yourself of his flaws.xx

Cocklodger.

Yes lifes to short, i suppose i left an abusive relationship 12 years ago and after a few failed attempts thought i had found a good one. And in som ways he was but the differences were just to big. I struggle with self confidence and having a partner who you feel doesnt find you attractive played havoc. What do you think you will do