What now?

[Neonfishwife]

Verbally abusive and controlling husband changed things this morning when he pushed me over onto the floor and stole my phone (trying to read my messages of proof that I’m having affairs (I’m not))

I called the police. He was arrested.
From previous arguments and being gaslighted constantly I’ve learnt to video things or he’ll deny having said and done things. The entire argument, him pushing me and then subsequently trying to involve the young children into the argument (by saying mummy’s a whore mummy’s been seeing other men) is on video which the police now have.
The police have just called to say they can’t take it any further because of lack of evidence - the video was pointing the floor and to the side and is mainly audio rather than clear footage.
So now what? They say he is allowed to come back here. I don’t want him near me. I’m scared.
My ‘plan’ was to stick it out for the next 13 years and leave him once the children turn 18. But, physical is my point of no return.
We own the house together. I am not employed and so financially reliant on him. I will not take him back after this and will be seeking a divorce. I do not want him in the house and the police have made a referral to the domestic abuse centre who will contact me in 24-48 to discuss a non molestatio order and occupation order for me to stay in the house.
What else can I do in the meantime. And what can I do loving forward.

Anyone with any advice?

Call Women's Aid for advice: www.womensaid.org.uk/

There will be countless others on here to offer more advice and support as well

Take care

Sorry to hear your situation. These solicitors specialise in domestic violence & have a helpline you can call for free advice & info on how they can help on their website. Hopefully you calling the police will give your husband the shock he needs, if he starts abusing you again, it doesn't need to be physical, call the police again.

For confidential and expert legal help with domestic violence, call the Duncan Lewis Domestic Violence Solicitors Helpline on 0800 689 3275.

www.duncanlewis.co.uk/family_abuse.html

Hi @Neonfishwife, I'm so sorry the police have let you down so badly by saying they are letting him go and he's free to come back to the house. Is there anywhere you can go and take your DC's for a couple of days? A relative or friends until you've spoken to the domestic abuse centre and know what you can do to stop him coming back to the house?

I feel like I need to stay in the house to keep myself in a strong position the tasing being able to provide the children everything they need around them and simply a roof over their heads. When he was taken away he had only his phone, so he does not have his house keys on him.
He is now with a his friend for the night after being advised to cool off and take a day to calm down. I have told his friend that if he wants to collect some things tomorrow he can but I don’t want him here and to alone with him after what has happened. Legally though can I not answer the door if he comes.
The police on my behalf put in the request with the national centre for Domestic violence, and I have called them myself too just to make sure someone will call me. I’m told someone will call me tomorrow.
I’m being told by the police to seek legal advice regarding the house, children etc but I feel like if he’s able to come back here how can I protect the children from his shouting at me and how can I find space to sort out the necessary. I have no idea what to do in this situation and feel like I’m just floating without a plan

I’ve tried calling women’s aid to see if they can offer advice on what I do next and offer maybe a list of what I need to be doing etc but they don’t answer

I find that really odd. To impose a Domestic Violence Protection Order there only has to be proof on the balance of probability. So, actual proof showing that he did this isn't necessary. Google it.
The DVPO is only for a limited amount of days however and doesn't stop him from returning indefinitely. By rights as he owns half the house, you can not stop him from returning. So, yes, you will have to go down the solicitors route. IF he does return, can you not set up a spy cam? Maybe after a 2nd incident the Police will actually do something? I hope it does not come to that!