Sigh. Any advice. We're both pretty avoidant because we've both been through massive hurts and scared of relationships a bit. I have feelings for him and care about him. But I only want to get into a relationship and let my daughter get to know someone if it's going to be healthy, and if he's going to be ALL IN.
DD (4) does know him from when we first became friends and DD used to come to my work with me & he'd chat to her and make her laugh too..... And he always made an effort with her and treats her really well - he took us out for brunch recently and she really likes him/he was great with her. She thinks he's just a friend though. As we just joke around with him and never anything touchy feely or "Mummy's boyfriend" etc.
Background:
I've known this guy for over a year now - we started as friends as he lived right near where I worked and there was a shared communal space so we'd cross paths a lot.
He would find excuses to come and speak to me couple times a week - sometimes for 20-30 minutes and we got on really well. We were magnetically drawn to each other almost but he wasn't laying it on thick in a romantic or sexual way - just in the way that you can't help but gravitate towards someone to talk to them. It transpired that he had just come out of a 6 year relationship and so although I was attracted to him I told myself in my mind to steer clear of anything more than friendship.
After a few months the attraction between us was growing and he asked me out for dinner. I did accept but was cautious because of the recent breakup.
We did end up going on quite a few dates but not sleeping together as I didn't want to /wasn't ready to take it to that level. He was a gentleman and paid for dates, kissed me goodnight etc & we had pretty electric chemistry but wasn't laying it on thick and was respectful.
After these initial first 5 or 6 dates, I felt he wasn't in a good place to take it any further and so I said that I was going to just date other people and I would like to keep getting to know him but we should sort of steer clear romantically. He said he agreed that he didn't know what he wanted and he probably needed to be on his own, he said he didn't like the idea of me dating others but he couldn't commit right now because of circumstances and needing to get himself in a good place before starting anything. He said he didn't want to play the field or anything and he really liked me but knew he couldn't give a proper relationship. I knew it too/ didn't want to get into a rebound. I was glad we had had straight forward talk etc.
He did seem to try and get more attention from me though after knowing I was seeing other people and you could tell he was emotionally affected by this.
We ended up then spending some more time together initiated by both of us, like doing stuff in the day times/going to gym together/having coffee - just catching up and staying in touch.
A few of these times we ended up kissing and we obviously couldn't really keep it platonic. We did end up sleeping together but I decided I just wanted to get it out the way so that if it was just a sexual connection then at least it'd be obvious that's all it was between us & I didn't know how I felt at that stage either. I didn't expect or ask for anything more plus my life was pretty complicated with other stuff too.
The friend-dates and kissing continued but I usually left before it went any further because I wasn't going to get emotionally involved further at that time because he hadn't signalled that he was ready for relationship.
Long story short he then had some horrendous family crisis going on amongst all this (alcoholic Mum relapse causing chaos) and I was focussed on my life so I left him to it and didn't contact him. He tried to keep in contact a bit but was mainly wrapped up in this crisis. I was dating others but no one special.
After this crisis was over, we reconnected but I still felt he was not emotionally available/maybe keeping his options open/not making enough time for me and felt he was keeping me on the backburner.
But by this time we had really developed a strong bond emotionally - quite a healthy, grounded, honest and aware friendship where we clearly both fancied each other massively and cared for each other.
I told him what I want and I said you're not giving me enough time or prioritising this developing into a relationship so I don't want to see you anymore because it hurts too much. He was sad but agreed he needed to get clear on what he wanted and where his life was now going after crisis was over so that he didn't mess me around.
I did not contact him for 3 weeks and then he messaged me saying he'd like to see me but understood if I didn't want to ... I said yes I would like to see you and he came to see me & we ended up having a 3 hour talk where he said he missed me and said things were different for him now in his life and that he wanted to see me again, asked if we could see each other regularly. I agreed as wanted to observe his actions and see how I felt - things are pretty different this time and I can feel he's making an effort to consistently be there for me, check in on me, acting way more like a boyfriend, being very loving, and being way more present and open.
But still taking things really slow - seeing each other once a week and recently 2 x a week but then after that he's pulled away and gone pretty silent again.
For 2 months it's been pretty great but then recently the family crisis has resurfaced and he's been distant and not set up the next date with me. And it's Valentine's Day soon so....eeek. Don't know how I feel if he ignores that......
Today after not having spoken to me for 3 days, he randomly joined instagram and followed me on instagram (he's famously never before given in to getting an instagram account and I actually really liked this about him that he didn't have it !! 
)
Anyway now I'm just feeling anxious and like I am a bit exhausted by the pulling away after all the lovely last 2 months where I've been enjoying feeling like we're actually going towards letting each other in and falling for each other properly.
What should I do ? Such a big part of me just wants to run away and protect myself. But also a huge part of me is in love with him and thinks he'd be a great partner.