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Original poster

Oversharing on social media

15 replies

lms68 · 10/02/2019 13:29

I would really appreciate a sounding board please. Is it unreasonable of me to be irritated by my partner sharing our every movement on wattsapp? I feel like I am in an episode of 24 and Big Brother simultaneously. Every time we do something special together (for example take a holiday, a weekend away etc), as we are doing it, he posts on his family wattsapp group photos of the view, the food, the detail of what we are doing. I find it irritating at various levels. Firstly it feels as though he is more concerned about sharing the experience with everyone else instead of enjoying the moment together. Secondly it feels intrusive: almost before we have enjoyed an experience everyone else knows about it. Even before we have eaten our food, everyone has seen what we are eating. He is too busy telling everyone what he is doing to focus on actually enjoying the moment with me.
Dont misunderstand, it's not that I mind him sharing photos and I'm not being possessive here. My issue is that it is contemporaneous with us having these experiences or adventures. He doesn't seem able to take a photo without immediately uploading it to share with everyone else.
Is it unreasonable of me to be irritated by this? I have told him several times but he thinks I am overreacting.
Thank you.

OP posts:
GlossyTaco · 10/02/2019 13:34

It'd piss me off massively but some people are just like this. Can you compromise?

Orange6904 · 10/02/2019 13:34

Is he a bit insecure? There was a study that said people that overshare every little moment are insecure in their realtionship or in general. I would find that frustrating. Does the rest of his family do it? Are they far apart from you two?

Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 13:45

Thank you I would be really interested to know what you think might be a good compromise. I suggested that afterwards he posted photos but he thought I was being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 13:47

Interesting about that study around insecurity. I hadn't read that. He has various group chats with his family that I am not part of so I'm not sure exactly what and when they share. They do seem to do a lot on social media generally though. They live close by mostly so it's not as though he doesn't see them.

OP posts:
GlossyTaco · 10/02/2019 13:51

Hmmm , I was going to suggest that he take the pictures and post later. That's perfectly reasonable.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 10/02/2019 13:54

That would drive me mad! one of the downsides of SM I'm afraid.

Orange6904 · 10/02/2019 14:05

The study is mentioned in this article:

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-it-means-when-couples-constantly-post-about-each-other-on-instagram_us_5a8b06cfe4b00bc49f4732f6

There was another interesting one from 2017, I'll try to find it.

I'm not saying it's definitely this but just one view.

Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 14:21

It's good to get a benchmark. I don't want to be unreasonable so I am glad you think the same...!

OP posts:
Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 14:22

Thank you very much for sharing the article. Much appreciated

OP posts:
another20 · 10/02/2019 14:59

Is he then stuck to the phone waiting for comments and commenting back? Is his family or one member competitive? Is it just a family WhatsApp group or more public insta or FB as well?
I would be frustrated that his focus was on showing others what he is up to rather than being with you in the moment. If I was one of his FB friends or even a family member receiving a picture of a meal I would be intensely bored to the point of hiding/ignoring his posts.

But mostly he needs to consider your feelings and privacy - I would be asking for a SM blackout for your next day out!

Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 15:04

He has an eye on his phone then for replies. At the table is totally unacceptable for me too.... I don't allow my kids their phones at the table.....
It is generally family WhatsApp chats so could be worse.

As you say, it's about being in the moment with the person you are sharing the experience with in my view. And feeling that it is a personal experience rather than my every move being public.
Thanks for your comments which I appreciate

OP posts:
beingniceiscool11 · 10/02/2019 15:39

Wow ... this is VERY odd. Would be a deal breaker for me. Especially the eye on the comments on the phone on the table. Addicted....very strange.

Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 15:43

Thank you. I was feeling that maybe I am the unreasonable one here so good to get some validation of my feelings!

OP posts:
another20 · 10/02/2019 19:44

Just tell him how you feel and ask him why he does it.

Original poster
lms68 · 10/02/2019 22:58

Thank you x

OP posts:
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