Finally snapped after 7 years

[kate2610]

I have told my husband to leave today as I've finally had enough. We got married last year and ever since things have gone downhill, and quickly.

We have 3 kids 7,6 and 5, 2 youngest have behavioural problems which i am currently going through the process of getting them diagnosed, one with adhd the other with autism, 2 complete opposite kids.

He has always been selfish and very quick to blame anyone and everyone else for things that go wrong, hes always been hot headed and wouldnt think twice of going out and punching a hole in something or saying disgusting hurtful things to me if hes not getting his own way. Ive put up with a lot from him over the years as he is such a good hearted lovely person, however with a couple of beers in him he is no longer this person, hes vile.

The worst part is hes actually ill when he drinks, hes being sick constantly and has had blood in this many times, he says hes entitled to a drink its his release. He cant enjoy that or hurting me for the sake of having a few beers.

I give him ultimatums and hes left when asked to a couple of times, the next day however sober him comes home and makes everything right again, hes a good dad and he does support us, he makes sure we have a lovely home, holidays, everything.
I feel that the price is too high with the way I'm being treated as of late though, i have recently packed my job in as my 2 youngest kids are taking up a lot of my time, they're both up til early hours of the morning and it was physically killing me off trying to keep everything ticking. I deal with everything alone i have no support. I had an operation recently, nothing major but had an overnight stay in hospital, i wasnt picked up or visited by him as i had ruined everything for him, he had to look after the kids and sort his own clothes and dinner basically.
Everyime he drinks now i feel myself diving down his throat as i know whats coming, im sick of empty promises. Im seriously sitting here wondering whether this is me picking at him or whether im being un reasonable etc. I seriously think this is affecting my mental health as im putting everything into making sure my kids know everything is ok and there isnt an atmosphere which means painting a brave face on constantly

Sounds like you will be happier by yourself. Its really hard going theough the anger and resentment, but you will come out of it happier and stronger. Mediation, get it all done on paper. Keep a clear head. Don't get drawn into arguments. Just focus on what you have to do to get clear of it all

My DH is a brilliant dad and loving husband. But his drinking was reaching breaking point for me. Not him. I'd told him I wasn't going on holiday again unless changes were made. He put his own health at risk, and our child at risk of losing his dad. Our son came in to our room after DH had been drinking the night before. He'd puked in bed and just put the pillow over it and went back to sleep. I was exhausted and slept through it. Our child should never have seen that, and DH might never have woken up again.

Thankfully he began to accept for himself that alcohol was a problem. He eventually gave up drinking. It wasn't easy, and life isn't perfect, but we are much happier now. And we are a family together. I was fast approaching leaving him. I'm glad it didn't come to that.

If you need to take a break from the relationship, be clear about why. Give him a way back, if he's truly worth it. Is alcohol the only problem or is he a dick anyway that also drinks?