Feeling utterly alone

[mumlove1234]

I am happily married, have 3 children, a job I enjoy most of the time but I feel completely isolated and alone. I don’t have friends, I have acquaintances. I may socialise with them now and then but I wouldn’t say they are proper friends. Everyone around me seems to have someone or a group of friends they chat to or go out with or go on holiday with but that doesn’t seem to happen for me. I am busy with my kids, taking them to their activities but sometimes in the car coming back from work I cry as I have no one other than my wee family unit. I worry I am not being a good influence in my kids as they don’t have huge groups of friends either. It’s as if people don’t actually like me but I don’t know what I do wrong.

I didn't want to leave your post unresponded to.

I don't have many friends but for some people a small group is all you need. Do you get out to drop off or pick up (a few mins early) to say hello to other parents at the after school activities?

Do you have time for your children to have friends over you could invite the Mum in for a cup of tea?

Could some of your work colleagues become friends with some more time invested?

My friends come from my volunteering at my child's club and it does take a while.

Wishing you all the best, being lonely as a tough thing.

If there's a colleague you really like, take the friendship further, go for lunch /coffee etc. Some of my best mates are ex colleagues.
Open your heart and people will respond. Well, the tossers won't but that's a good thing

No advice, but I know how you feel. I have a group of friends who live 250 miles away, we meet up twice a year which is fab, but sometimes just someone to go for a coffee with, or the cinema, would be great...I've tried netball and even the WI! but there's no one I feel I could gel with. There's quite often posts like this on Mumsnet and I sometimes wonder if we should arrange Mumsnet meet ups! I'd be up for it...

I’m in my early 50’s and have a demanding full time job, whilst I’ve worked with the same people for 20 years and have great acquaintances they’re not outside of work friends. I’ve lived in the same place for 15 years and didn’t know a single person. I had one friend I’d been to school with who I meet up once a year. Although I’m an introvert I felt that there must be more to life and was bored and lonely outside of work time, just terribly down. I have a great husband and home but things were very one dimensional.

Then, a couple of years ago despite being the worlds biggest couch potato I did something totally out of character and joined a ‘social’ running club to do Couch to 5k. They have a laugh, run, get fit. Its not forced or fake - we meet up have a 5 minute chat, moan and groan together then have a quick chat. 2 year later my life is full of new facebook friends, people I see and meet in town, pub runs, off road runs, family bbqs parkrun or races at the weekend. I short I found a friendly, social community that has totally filled that gap and more. Don’t dismiss the idea of doing something similar even if its not you ...you could find the answer ..just take that step and be bold. Good luck !