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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Think my boyfriend is jealous of my son?

20 replies

Lefty1 · 09/02/2019 13:18

My 6 year old son , myself and boyfriend were sitting on the couch watching a film. My son is not my partners child . Anyway I was holding my partners hand but my son removed it so that he could hold my hand instead . I could instantly tell that there was a mood shift with my partner after my son done this. He left abruptly (after 15 mins) didn’t see the film through and didn’t really bother to msg me the rest of that evening which is unusual , he responded to my msg asking if he was ok and replied really abruptly with no kisses . I have a feeling that this is a red flag him getting jealous of my son , what do you guys think?

OP posts:
RestingBitchFaced · 09/02/2019 13:21

Yes trust your instincts. Let him sulk

LovingLola · 09/02/2019 13:21

Get rid ASAP

nombrecambio · 09/02/2019 13:24

He sounds like a child. Do you want to spend your future getting torn between a partner and a child?

Parthenope · 09/02/2019 13:27

Yup. Do you need another six year old in your life?

ElspethFlashman · 09/02/2019 13:28

He sounds like the 6 year old, tbh. He's clearly not able to be in a relationship with a parent.

Original poster
Lefty1 · 09/02/2019 13:29

Thanks for you replies so far , it helps to have others say the same !

OP posts:
NottonightJosepheen · 09/02/2019 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinty · 09/02/2019 13:31

I have got to say I don't sit on the couch and hold DP's hand anyway but yes he sounds jealous of a six year old who is obviously going to want to hold your hand.

Do people really sit and hold hands Confused I might for 3 seconds then I would get bored of that. I would snuggle up to DP but not really hold hands, but maybe that's just me.

Italiangreyhound · 09/02/2019 13:35

I occasionally hold hands with dh or the kids.

It's a massive red flag he is a nob! Sorry, but he sounds really daft. That would be enough for me.

Italiangreyhound · 09/02/2019 13:37

Tinty yeah, people hold hands. It's fine you do not. But it's pretty clear from the opening post that the OP does.

poppingoff · 09/02/2019 13:42

He's ridiculous.

How long have you been together? How long has he known your son? How much time do they spend in each other's company? Is this the first time something like this has happened?

I don't think I'd even have asked him if he was okay. That's playing into his hands and he continues to be abrupt to punish you.

I

Original poster
Lefty1 · 09/02/2019 13:51

Thanks so much these responses are really helping me see that my boyfriends reaction isn’t normal. We’ve not been together for a seriously long time.

What you said poppingoff about punishing really rings true and I hadn’t looked at it like that so thank you so much for posting

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 09/02/2019 17:28

He sounds like a complete twat

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 09/02/2019 18:55

Show him the door OP ...if he feels he has to compete with a little boy of 6 yrs he is not wired right,It is not a competition he will ever win anyway if you are anything like me! He will loose hands down against my kids everytime,Don't waste your time and energy on him, he has chosen to show you his true colours better you know now.

flameycakes · 09/02/2019 18:57

Your bf sounds a right nob job x

TheScottishPlay · 09/02/2019 19:01

Your son will pick up on this quickly too. He needs to be in a house where all the adults are on his team.

Fairylea · 09/02/2019 19:02

Total twat. Dump!

ChasedByBees · 09/02/2019 19:02

It’s not surprising that your DS felt like he needed reassurance. For a grow man to sulk over that is not a good sign that he will be able to consider your DS’s needs.

CiderBrains · 09/02/2019 19:11

I had one like this. I was sitting on the sofa with my dc (who were around 6 and 8 at the time) having a cuddle whilst watching tv. He came in (he wasn't the father) and sat on the other sofa, looked sulky, then got up and went out the room.

When I asked him later what was up he said I "hadn't " made room for him on the sofa. It was at that point I realised he was jealous of my cuddle with my own kids and felt resentful that he couldn't be involved.

He also said "well my (6 year old) son knows that if he is sat one side of me then you will be the other side." As if saying that his son knows he can't have his dads full attention without a woman the other side of him somehow justifies it Hmm He always prioritised women over his own kids and he expected me to do the same!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/02/2019 20:00

I have exactly the same problem!

My 8 year old gets really annoyed when she is trying to give me a cuddle and my 5 year old then goes and shoves her out the way!

Oh - you were talking about your partner......

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