It feels uncomfortable to look at me

[Dani35]

Most of you already know my story.
Partner left me and my 5 year old over a month ago.

He dropped our little girl off at our house last night after school and couldn't even look at me. When I left I asked what was that all about.

He said he felt uncomfortable looking at me. This felt like a knife through my heart. He said after a month he still doesn't know how he feels.

I pushed and tried to get him to speak to me and he won't. In trying to get him back over the past month he's accused me of playing mind games. It's like he can't see the damage or hurt he's caused and doesn't care.

I feel so lost and hurt by his words and actions. How can he be like this after 13 years and a child together? He won't talk and says he's going though emotional issues. He's seen the Dr and is on the new minds matter app.

I feel worthless

He felt uncomfortable because he feels guilty. He knows how selfish he's been and it doesn't make him feel good. It's all about him. You know that, don't you?

He feels guilt about something.
It may be that he does realise the pain he’s caused, or if it’s a new thing, he may have moved on and not told you yet.
I’m sorry op, it doesn’t sound like a man who wants to try again. Your old partner has changed and gone. You need to grieve for your old relationship by the sound of it and focus on you and your little one, who are most important.
I’m sorry this is happening to you either way and hope you realise that his leaving was down to him not you

I asked him was it guilt and he said he didn't know how he feels. Why won't he just end it then and walk away?

I feel like I've hit complete rock bottom today. I tried to be so strong and it's got to me.

I agree with the PP. He doesn’t want to look at you because then he’ll see the pain he’s caused you.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, it doesn’t sound like he wants to fix it
A month is quite a bit of space... if he isn’t desperate to be back with you then cut your losses. You deserve someone who completely and utterly loves you

Dani, he is not going to admit to the guilt. If he’s moved on, it’s going to take a while for him to work up the courage to tell you ...he’ll want it to seem further down the line, particularly as he knows how you feel about him.
I can’t imagine the hurt you feel, but I think you have to let him do his thing now and move on. If he wants you back one day, then let him do the legwork. Xx

I think you need to take control here. Stop waiting for him to come back. Stop begging him. He's gone and you need to focus on yourself and your dd.

There's no point trying to point out what pain he's caused. Tell him it's over, you're moving on and minimise all contact with him. Take legal advice and paint on a face (to him) of independence and strength. Let him wallow.

When (as he surely will) try to come back to you, then you should tell him to fuck off. Remember this pain he;s caused you.

And they all say (ime) that they're depressed, or have issues or whatever. That's a cop out. Read on here about the script and focus on yourself.

Sorry you're going through this. It sucks. But you will get through it and you'll be stronger for it.

You are not worthless. Whatever is going on in his head does not define you. I agree with pp about walking away as that is both better for you in knowing where you stand, and also in my view makes it more likely he may them wake up and realise what he's lost. Show him what life is actually like without you in it looking out for him.