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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Boyfriend away for the night and posted a photo of himself on whatsapp group but didn't contact me personally

32 replies

Petals23 · 08/02/2019 22:04

My boyfriend is away for the night with a male friend for an activity tomorrow. At the moment they're in a pub and he's posted a photo of himself supping his pint on a whatsapp group that I'm also on saying "enjoying my pint... wish you were all here". I felt a little upset because he didn't contact me personally - it wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't heard from him otherwise. Am I being silly?

OP posts:

Lamenameagain · 09/02/2019 21:38

I think it's about feeling special and a little bit more important than mates.

2019willbegreat · 09/02/2019 22:26

I'm going against the grain here and saying you are right to be miffed. If you are his partner/girlfriend,you deserve more than a group chat message. I would want my boyfriend to message/call me personally if he was on a weekend away. Ive split with my husband of 23 years and part of it was his inability to make our relationship special/ NOT treat me like a mate.

Clearly this makes you unhappy. Either except you will feel lesser in this relationship or end it and move on.

poppingoff · 09/02/2019 22:31

It's one night!

And OP said she wouldn't have been bothered not to hear from him at all otherwise. So it's the fact he's messaging other people, not her.

Op, he could have been messaging anyone outside that chat, and you, not at all, and you'd never know. What's the difference?

CaseofEllen · 09/02/2019 23:16

I don't think you're being silly. If it was me I'd like a private message just to check in too - something like, 'Hey babe, I'm out with X now. Hope you're okay! Speak to you tomorrow'..

My DP always sends me a quick message or two when he's out, think it's just polite.

sparkling123 · 10/02/2019 04:40

I get where you're coming from but I think he probably was just caught up in the evening. Text him back in the group

fuddle · 10/02/2019 21:57

I don't think you are being silly he should message you personally don't be treated like this. I was annoyed with my husband when he posted an update on Facebook but didn't message me. Its just a nice thing to do.

Ribbonsonabox · 10/02/2019 22:03

I think you are being a bit silly. Hes clearly busy out and sent a group message in which you were included as its quicker to do and less rude to the people hes with. I wouldn't take it personally. I'd not expect my husband to send me personal messages whilst having fun on a night out... nor would I send them to him.... and we are very close I'd say.

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