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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Met someone new and don’t know if I want ivf to have decided husbands baby

30 replies

Welshgirl1523 · 08/02/2019 19:20

I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

My husband (27) passed away while we started the ivf process, now months later I’m still allowed to have the ivf but not sure if I wanna go ahead.

I’ve met someone else who means the world to me and treats me like a princess but he doesn’t want to have anymore children ( has a 11 year old daughter) one of the reason is he want us to go travelling in 8 years time and doesn’t want children to hold us back( I’m 30 not so I’ll be 38 when we do this)

This has made me think if I actually want to have a child myself after 10 years of wanting one. Just want people opinions

I know I have to decide what I want and make my mind up but didn’t think I could fall for someone again so soon after my husband dying

OP posts:

Gruzinkerbell1 · 08/02/2019 20:21

Oh OP. I hope you have some strong family and friends around you in real life. You really need them right now. Don't allow yourself to be swept away by this rebound man. You've been through so much and need some time to think about your future, not have it dictated to you by some random who has swooped in on a grieving widow. Be kind to yourself, take some time to discover the new you and your new life without your husband. I'm so sorry for your loss

Quartz2208 · 08/02/2019 20:25

so within months this man has you convinced that something you wanted for 10 years no longer is what you want and you should wait 8 years and then do what he wants

So many red flags OP. My advice take time off from both the ivf and him and allow yourself to heal and grieve.

LaughingCow99 · 08/02/2019 20:28

You need to get a grip. Your husband has just died and you are contemplating having his child? Do you not think you may meet a man in the future you will want to have children with.

You've known current guy a wet weekend. Slow down.

OlennasWimple · 08/02/2019 20:33

I'd really hope that no IVF clinic would go ahead with treatment so soon after the death of the husband TBH

CandyKitten · 08/02/2019 20:34

Do not make any big decisions op!!!

Chances are things won’t work out with this guy. You’re grieving and he’s probably a distraction right now. He isn’t committed to you like you think you are to him. The fact you’re already thinking of not having kids because of this guy tells me he is a massive distraction from your grief !!!

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