Lightbulb moment.

[AcidityRegulated]

Yesterday I realised that I am now the age that my mother was when my parents split.

I've been emotionally distant from my DH for the past year or so, and couldn't understand the source of my feelings; we have our arguments from time to time, but I've grown so cold, which isn't like me.

And now I realise I'm playing out my parents' relationship in my own life. I can't believe I've been doing this! I thought I was more self-aware, but clearly am still able to self-sabotage my life.

I need to fix this with DH. I've created a huge wall between us.

I don't know why I've started this thread, except to be able to get it out and hopefully by acknowledging this blind spot I can move beyond it?

Why are you assuming it's anything to do with the age your parents split up? I can't see how that's relevant to your relationship at all to be honest. Maybe that's just me though?

Like I'm living out the script of my life all over again - "this is how long a marriage lasts" type of thing.

OK.... so now you've acknowledged this what are you going to do about it?
But like PP, I don't see how this has anything to do with your parents.
If you were happy and in love with your DH then surely this wouldn't be happening!?
Counselling for you on your own first then together if it's salvageable!

I can understand what you mean OP. It’s like you’re distancing yourself from your DH out of fear because some part of your brain thinks you’re going to split up and you’re protecting yourself. If I were you I’d apologise to him for being distant lately and arrange some stuff together where you’re hanging out getting closer again. Also maybe repeat stuff to yourself like “I don’t need to follow my parents’ example. I’m in a good healthy relationship.” to try and stop yourself from thinking and acting that way again otherwise you could find yourself withdrawing from him again especially if there’s any sign of conflict