Middle age crushes

[55Flirty]

Hi. Is it just me? I am just back from a biz trip with a group of much younger guys from work. We all get on well but I am old enough to be most of their mums! One guy and I chatted all night and eventually ended up kissing- he said lovely things about me and of course wanted sex. We did end up in bed but after kissing I said not a good idea and went back to my room. The thing is I wish I had done it now. But I also feel really silly because my head is running away with me and fantasising about what might be or have been. Crazy I know. I literally feel in crisis. I have been flirting with a very old flame for a month before this but I just don’t know what to do. My husband is the kindest man. But actually boring. And sex isn’t great. And with him I’m not interested in sex. Yet I crave it with others. I have 2 late teens kids and I had to go back to work a few years ago because my husband lost his biz. I couldn’t bear to hurt him or them but I feel like I am just not happy or fulfilled. I long to be with someone who really gets me intellectually and physically. Is it too late? Am I silly? Would love some advice. Also because I had to go back to work after being really privaliged stayathome mum I have really lost my friend ship group and long for some close female company

OP it sounds like you need to have a long chat with DH and decide if you want to stay together or split up. Are you happy living your life as a cheat? How would you feel if he or your children found out? Is it likely this younger man will tell his/your colleagues what happened. How will this effect work if everyone finds out. Right now you are risking everything for a quick fling. If you really do want someone else by all means go for it. But have the decency of leaving your DH first

I have been very decent to him. That’s why I am still there. I have supported him through umpteen situations over the last 10 years. And bailed out loads of debt he caused me. And am still paying. I could have left him 100 times but for my kids. There won’t be a fling with the guy from work. I stopped that before it started. Maybe I just feel quite lonely deep down. I’m not seeking approval but just needed to say that stuff somewhere

You need to be more specific as to why you could of left your dh 100s of times, yet you say he's the kindest man?
If your dh has history of cheating on you then I'd understand how you are feeling rn.
I advise you to seek individual counseling to explore why you are feeling like this, to help decide if you'd like to try salvage your marriage or if you'd like to separate and live alone for awhile.

It sounds like you've 'mummied' your husband - frequently bailing him out of scrapes etc; and feel like he is a responsibility like your children, rather than a partner? That is why you don't want sex with him, and crave the company of others. This marriage is probably over. Staying in a dead marriage 'for the kids' is not the answer. They will not want to be the cause of your staying in a relationship that you're unhappy in.

I can 100% relate to how you feel. I am feeling very similar I had some experiences recently two very close bereavements and another close link with terminal cancer and its as if a light has switched on in my head and said "hang on there must be more then this to life, and live for today"..My husband is ok nice but not helpful or interested in me or the kids.. he has just called me at work to tell me the older DS is looking after the you younger DD so he can go to the pub! this is not unusual!..and i have also bailed him out too many times and lost all patience! I have recently been in a friendship with an unavailable man which is over now who I miss more then I can explain and find myself flirting with men a lot more then i should... and now at 41 I seem to get more attention then I ever did when I was 20! I also really crave other men... my friend thinks its hormones as i reach the end of fertility ..who knows.. i also feel like there must be someone out there who would treat me better then he does.. even my friend before we went our separate ways suggested i should leave him! so i totally get how you feel and its a really confusing place to be!

Also s lot of people tell me i should leave my DH but it isnt that easy after 20 years he would be crushed and how do you do that to a person. From my perspective we are not compatible in any way..but he loves me and cant do a thing for his self. How could i do that to him? so for all the people who say you should leave .. if only it was this simple. I had my friend as a crutch that supported my marriage for 7 months and has now left a gaping hole.

Your husband would probably be devastated to learn you'd spent time in a bed with a younger colleague, as you would be if situation was reversed.
This forum is full of devastated women in similar positions.
If you don't want to be with him, don't be with him, but you shouldn't keep having dalliances with other men.