Would it annoy you if...

[Bumblebee27]

Your partner never bothered texting or contacting you throughout the day but was active on fb? Like I don't expect constant texts all day like when we first got together but surely if he can make time to chat on messenger or look on fb he could drop a quick 'how's your day?'

I'm quite a texty person and used to love our long text chats in the early days. Now I get bugger all but can see he's on fb. Tbh there are a few other trust issues so could be that winding me up too :/

God no. I'm regularly scroll through FB when I'm at work. I would hate to think DH found it weird that I wasn't talking to him rather then just going about my day looking at weird memes!

Do you message him and if so does he reply?

No it would bother me if he kept texting through the day. I don't have the time for it!

I will drop him a quick message occasionally asking how his day is going and stuff like that. Not expecting lengthy conversations! Just a quick check in. I used to like getting the odd 'thinking of you' text but it's unheard of these days!!!! He does reply if I text first but sometimes it would be nice to hear from him first. Silly I know.

It wouldn't bother me, no. The only stuff we communicate over is something that needs a reply. Eg are you home for tea tonight? If you're home first, can you do this etc.

We used to message more when we didn't live together but honestly now I'd just rather ask him how his day has been when we get home. It's much nicer to catch up in person.

I used to be the really needy type who wanted a lot of messages and would get grumpy if I saw he'd been online and not spoken to me, but when we moved in, that really did change. I go on MN, FB, Insta quite often throughout the day for no real reason but I don't feel the need to message him at those points I have my phone, so I assume he just feels the same and there's no malice or loss of love there because of that.

@TokenGinger you're probably right tbh, I'm still at that grumpy 'why hasn't he text me' stage 🙈 it probably sounds needy but a text takes seconds and just lets someone know you're thinking of them. I'm a big softie and often send people (friends family as well as him) little check-in messages. Really requires no effort. So sometimes would be nice to get that back from him. I guess I just think well he's got time to look at stupid memes on fb so why hasn't he got time to send a text? Guess he just doesn't feel the need

No. I usually call him on the way home to discuss dinner but other than that we don't text unless we need something

@Bumblebee27 I do completely get you. I can see it from both sides. If my DP text me through the day and said "I'm thinking of you", it'd give me a little smile.

I'm not sure if I'm more relaxed because he hasn't done those types of things for so long, that I no longer expect them, or whether it's because I actually don't care anymore because I get to see him every day.

We used to communicate on WhatsApp and that'd drive me insane looking to see if I had blue ticks, and if he was online I'd be grumpy if he hadn't read my message, but now we communicate on text message and that's made a huge difference because I can't check if he's read them or not.

Tbh there are a few other trust issues so could be that winding me up too :/

So there’s more than the text thing?

It wouldn't bother me at all.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest

Not in the slightest. If he's online it's football news and if I'm on FB I'm drooling over cute/funny dog pics.

Facebook often shows me as 'active' when I am not so I wouldn't base anything on that.

@Bumblebee27 I do get you.

It when you've had the nice texting all the time, you get used to it. When the behaviour changes it can throw doubt.

I found its best to try and keep busy or I would question what they were doing.

Facebook often shows my DH as active all night when he is fast asleep and snoring his fat head off beside me.

No, not at all. I’m on Facebook lots during the day (on maternity leave but when I am at work, it’s my mental break from work). My dh is on instagram as he uses it for his business. I wouldn’t even notice if he didn’t message me during the day. We do occasionally talk during the day (when something is going on that requires it), but we don’t just have idle chit chat. I see him all evening and on the weekends, we don’t need to be in contact during the day too. The only time either of us might be annoyed would be if there was a genuine emergency (stranded somewhere, one of us in hospital, etc.). Otherwise nothing else is so important it can’t wait til we get home.

Each to theirs. I still love the odd text to know how my day's going.... Puts a smile on my face

I'm with you on this - my partner barely messages me yet I can see he's been live on WhatsApp. I'm not on Facebook but I know he's on there regularly too. I think I was just used to my ex husband being in very regular daily contact, and other exes calling me a lot or checking in.
It makes me feel like I'm not important enough for him to think about during the day. The messages I do get are bland and pretty much consist of 'I hope you're having a nice day' or maybe 'how's your day going' if I'm lucky.

As you also said, other trust issues really don't help with this.

I hope you can