I looked oh dear

[Whatsgoingon27]

Ok I get I absolutely shouldn’t have done this and I guess I have been stung.

I’ve been with by boyfriend for a year. Very up and down. Initially I had some doubts even though he said and did the right things but sometimes I felt he went in very fast and that made me doubt whether he really knew his feelings. He can also be quite inconsiderate at times.

Anyway today I saw his phone opened and I looked. I know of one previous FWB and I looked at his chats to her - lots of sexting and dirty talk. And I looked at his last ex gf and similar messages to her.

Thing that gets me is he’s said similar lines to both of them that he’s said to me and it’s left me feeling really panicked and anxious. I don’t know. Do I just need to get over it?

I absolutely know I shouldn’t have looked.

Recently so he's cheating or before you were dating?

No sorry this is from when he was with them. It’s just I suppose he’s also said similar stuff to me and some quite sweet things but seems he’s said the same to them as well and I now feel very upset.

What are the ups and downs about?

Get over it? No, you need to dump him.

Sexting is very similar whoever it is with.

Are these current messages or before you were together?

Oops just seen that it was before he got with you.

Yeah it would annoy me that he’s saying the same thing to every girl and me. Like you’re on a conveyor belt.

You don’t sound that happy in general though?

OK so they're old messages. I don't see the problem.

Seems like he has a a distinct sexting style? Some men aren't very imaginative and just repeat what's gone down well in the past I think.

I wouldn't assume that you mean any less to him because of it.

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He sounds a bit of a creep! No one wants to see lots of dirty talk,just sounds seedy.
The reason you looked is because you're curious but also probably not 100% certain about this guy...I'd be more concerned about your ups and downs.
If he isn't making you happy honestly you're better off single and happy.

Ps yeah you shouldn't of looked.... But it's kinda hard not to! I spent the whole afternoon looking at my partners ex wife's boxed up stuff before he chucked it away...I challenge anyone woman not to look! I did confess to my boyfriend and he just said curiosity killed the cat.
To cut a long story short it didn't bother me at all and confirmed we are solid as a rock and that was his past.

Everyone has a past... I don't think that's the issue here. I think it's him and your relationship

Been together a year and had lots of ups and downs? Cut your losses

He sexts his girlfriend and hasn't got much of an imagination? Meh.

Your partner is checking your phone a year or less in for no particular reason? Cut your losses.

The sexts aren't the issue IMO

Your instincts were actually bang on at the start, weren't they? Which is good. And now you've had them confirmed that yeah, he is basically just telling you what he thinks you want to hear, and it might not go very deep under the surface for him. The ups and downs thing would bug me too. What's that all about? Maybe this one isn't a winner and you should move on to better things.