I’ve been with DP for almost a decade. Over the last year or so he has been on a quest for self-improvement. He reads a lot of self-help books and meditates. He has also started swimming most days, plays football and other sports etc in order to get fit/active. I would say out of a 7 day week he is out 3-4 evenings per week doing hobbies/activities.
It has now dawned on me that I am boring and I am now worried we are growing apart in the relationship. I was perfectly happy coming home after work, sticking my dressing gown on, curling up and watching television. I then like to go out walking at the weekends. I occasionally see friends in the evenings for food maybe a few times a month. Due to this concern I have taken up a couple of activities – I have joined him on his meditation class and I have joined my local knitting group. I feel like I am just doing these things though to feel like I have something more and not sure whether I am truly enjoying myself. It’s scared me that I derive a lot of my happiness from the relationship and spending time with my DP and if we were to split or something to happen I would have nothing.
I also take less care of myself. I have a gastroenterological disease that means weight loss is always a concern for me and I have perhaps used this not to engage in sport. I also hate the whole process of cooking (I do cook though just dislike it when my DP rings me to ask about dinner etc) and I am fussy regarding a lot of food, which I think annoys my DP. I never wear makeup anymore or straighten my hair. I also don’t pay too much attention to how I dress. I guess I have got “comfortable”. I would never have been like this in the early stages of the relationship but I have stopped making an effort with my appearance.
I don’t really know what my question is. I don’t want to lose my DP but I am worried that could happen if I don’t turn things around.