I've been seeing a guy I met OLD since Dec 30th. At first he seemed fab- a writer, just returned to UK from Spain to be nearer his children. We spent a whirlwind mad new year together and he ended up staying over at mine for nearly a week. Yes, stupid I know- but it happened.
Since then I have learned more about him through conversations, turns out he has no money, none, no work, no hope of work becayse he wont work for anyone but himself, smokes 20 fags a day. Is staying at his daughters on the sofa (when not at mine). Has stayed more days at mine than his daughters since new year. I have fed him and all the rest. Sex has been incredible. BUT and here is the really big but... I feel that he has been love bombing me so that he can move in as a cocklodger- in fact he pretty much has.
I even said to him that I did not need a cocklodger and he was mightily insulted but the more I think about it the more I realise it is exactly what has happened.
On Sunday I told him I needed space and could he please go to his daughter's place. He was stroppy but calmed down and went.
I know I need to end it. I want to call him and end it over the phone so that it is done as I cannot see how calling him to say "we need to meet" is going to be a good idea, for one, there is nowhere to meet as pretty much all our relationship has been at my home. I don't want him back here. So I need to call him.
When he left on Sunday he made a point of leaving some shoes and some clothes here. I am 100% sure it was so that he had an excuse to return. I want to call him, say its over and put his stuff in a bag and then say he can come and pick them up but I will hand them over at the door.
I just want to say "its not working for me" as he is a master smooth talker and he will try to interrogate me for reasons and try to suggest that I am wrong. I just know that he is not good for me and I want to end it.
So, a phone call soon (today) to say "its just not working for me, I am ending the relationship" and when he asks about his stuff I shall say "I will have it ready for you if you want to call by" but I am worried that he will then try to come in and then he will try to manipulate me into letting him have "one last kiss" etc.
How to handle this? I am bloody well old enough to know better but sometimes so foolish I could give myself a slap.
And for those who know my username- yes, it is not the first time I have got myself into a stupid mess like this. But this one seems more sinister- manipulative and controlling- hence needing to do the break up on the phone and then run for the hills.