My ex is not fit to be an organ donor

[WhatWouldLIfeBe]

Unless someone is happy to have inside them part of a rapist and wife beater. I don't know what is his drug regime but he may yet make compost.

I am beyond angry.

I wrote that wrong! It is about his needing control and causing problems where there could very easily be none. I have a court case looming, and possibly more after that. These are things that are absolutely unnecessary and are only to cause me expense, worry and harm.

Seriously
Start a new thread. This organ donor thing is offensive at best
You want help and support. You’ll get it. Just not this way.

I agree, this post doesn’t appear to have anything to do with organ donation. You ex was abusive and you need and deserve help with that. But don’t make it about something it’s not. You are hurt and angry, I get that, I’ve been there. But this has nothing to do with your thread title and will confuse anyone who could help you

Shame on you posters berating the OP. It's quite obvious what she ment and that she came on here for a bit of tea and sympathy. She is obviously going through enough without a kicking from posters on here.
OP, hang on in there, you are doing great. Vent away if you have to. Good luck with the court cases.

Hi op. Good to get it off your chest. Life is hard, but also good. Best wishes to you and dc

Thank god for the hide option when people make no sense!
Sorry your going through a bad time OP but you need to work on making sense when posting on a forum!

I asked about children as that would mean you have a tie to him

Lots of people have been through similar and worse, and some are here and listening and wanting to help.

Agree a new post with more clarity would probably get you more sympathetic responses which you should be getting

I mean, it’s easy to say that when you’re sat there with functioning organs. But I guarantee if you or a loved one was at risk of death you’d take the organ of a serial killer if it would save your life

Lots of people have been through similar and worse.

Yes, that's what I thought. Sadly we normalise the abnormal. We get used to it. We shove our experiences under the carpet thinking that others have it so much worse. We think, oh well at least he's not doing X or he's not doing Y. We minimise. We think, oh it's not that bad.

Domestic Abuse is that bad. It is not a competition. There are no better forms of it, like there are no better kinds of rape or murder. It gets worse and too many (usually women) loose their lives because of it.

I have no contact with my ex. Despite this, he is making every effort to destroy me. Either I can get angry or I can set my anger against myself. I think it is better that I vent outwardly than inwardly however inarticulately. Self destructive behaviour is not articulate.

Shame on you posters berating the OP. It's quite obvious what she ment and that she came on here for a bit of tea and sympathy.

Well... no, it wasn't, immediately. And as someone who has had a kidney transplant, when you're on a countdown waiting for an organ, it's not the best time either. There's no opportunity to evaluate the life of the person donating and whether they are worthy of donating to you, and there would be no glory in rejecting an organ you badly needed because it came from a bad person.

OP is clearly hurting and I'm genuinely sorry for that, but she's picked a harmful way of articulating that.

As someone who's mother and other family needed organ transplants- a liver is a liver, kidney is a kidney.

They are not responsible for a violent man's actions. His brain is.

How dare you even write something like this!!!

Lots of people have been through similar and worse.

Yes, that's what I thought. Sadly we normalise the abnormal. We get used to it.

No, you have cherry picked that from what I wrote. What I said was Lots of people have been through similar and worse, and some are here and listening and wanting to help. as in, you are not alone

There are many ways to vent and get support or advice when in dire straits, without unnecessarily dragging another group of people also in dire straits in.

People who need, or have needed, organ donation, or people who have lost family members who were donors or needed a donor, often have a hard enough time coming to terms with it as it is. They really don't need or want the thought from the OP putting into their heads as well.

Whether or not the OP is genuine, I hope the thread is deleted. Support, advice or just a place to vent can then be sought again from a new thread, without needing to upset and offend people who might also be really struggling.

That's not what I understood Romanov but thank you for the clarification. There is so much room for misunderstanding. Organ transplant, though a metaphor in the case of this thread is something I am deeply familiar with. That's another subject.

No problem, WhatWouldLIfeBe

Do repost with your issues, I know mumsnet has a reputation of being a nest of vipers, but there are some cracking posters out there who will support you