Did he cheat?

[Geordieclurr]

So my now ex partner of 3+ years went to Ukraine last month (he travels a lot for leisure) but just before he did, he googled “Kiev prostitutes” several times in one day. How I found out was, he failed to realise that the phone he had given me to use temporarily about the same time, was still syncing to his new/main phone!

I’d never had cause to doubt or mistrust him before. He was always pretty loyal although our sex life had disappeared over 12 months I put that down to his age 46 and some erectile problems he was having investigated. He needs viagra nowadays. Sex had gotten really crap.

When confronted he strongly denied it. Said he was just curious as Kiev was wellknown for prostitution. However in the subsequent fallout it did transpire that he had slept with someone last year during a period where we weren’t together. He’d previously lied and said he had not been intimate with anyone while we were apart. So he has the ability to tell lies.

Question is, do I need to have an STI test or not?

I’m a first time user on mumsnet so please be kind!

Have the STI test to put your mind at ease. Even if he didn’t sleep with anyone on his trip , he’s admitted to sleeping with someone last year. It won’t take long and you’ll get some peace of mind or treatment in worse case scenario.

I agree with fonduefrolics, it might not be a pleasant experience but just for peace of mind I'd get it done. You seem like you have trust issues with him so then I'd probably give him the elbow too.

It doesn't cost anything so you might as well.

It's also famous for chicken with garlic sauce, did he google that too? No. Get the STI check.

He's gone already, I'm too long in the bloody tooth to be putting up with that nagging doubt crap. Plenty more fish. What a pain but hey ho!

Does anyone know how to get it done? Through the GP?

Just Google ‘sexual health clinic’ and you can find your nearest one.

The one near me gives a combination of express clinics, drop ins and appointments depending on if you have any symptoms or not.

You can swab yourself in the loos (if you go for the quick option) and they’ll take a blood sample. Text you the results if you’re clear or phone if there’s an issue.

Ok. Thanks. (Gulp)

It’s a bit nerve wracking to walk in for the first time but it’ll be fine honest. I went multiple times last year, felt like I deserved a seat with my name on.

You posted this story before, late last year

I don't think I did it only happened in January

Isn't this thread by you as well: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3431954-What-would-you-make-of-this?pg=9

I thought you were divorcing him?

That went quiet then. lol.

You may find that you can order the test kit online and post it back. That is being introduced in some areas. So you'd only need to attend if you get a positive outcome for any of the tests.

Ladies. I only just joined. These other posts are not me!

Thanks to those who've been supportive. I'm not sure what the others are on about but it's not helpful. Over and out.

Sorry, but what happened to you is so similar to the other posts. Ukraine, hubby travelling overseas. I hope things get better for you.

Except username (big clue there) and lots of other things that I am certainly not going to explain. You’d have seen them yourself if you’d paid attention instead of trying to ‘call me out’. Shame on you and the others who rallied around you. I joined this site just to get support on this topic a few days ago and instead I find myself being defensive. Thanks for your apology. I’m not sure it’s a place I will come back to.