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Relationships

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Original poster

Could dh be cheating?

15 replies

lelrx · 04/02/2019 18:46

Hello,
I'm abit confused, could just be hormonal and crazy but I can't get it out of my head
I'm 24 weeks pregnant and married last year, my husband is very attentive and loving and doesn't strike me as a cheat
However recently i feel he just doesn't want to have sex with me, his excuses are always that he has done a 12 hour shift so he's tired and has to be up early but when we do get opportunity (days off) he would rather watch TV and then it gets too late (last nights excuse) today he's complained that his testicle is sore? I asked if it was because he had done a 3 mile run at the gym and he had chafed but I automatically assumed it was as excuse not to have sex tonight as he said we will because I have moaned about him not finding me attractive etc
When we do have sex I always find I have to ask him for it, he never initiates it or puts it on me as such which makes me feel crap about myself and I just feel like he rushes when he actually decides he wants to be intimate. He always says there's not a problem and he's tired etc
He always finds the energy and time to go to the gym with his friends though
Am I being crazy to think he could be cheating or is this normal, we are both 25 so young and active
I have never looked at his phone or had any gut feelings that he's cheating but recently I feel really off and keep questioning it
Thanks in advance

OP posts:

ilovekale · 04/02/2019 18:48

A lot of man don't feel
Comfortable having sex with pregnant mrs. Some are afraid of hurting baby etc I wouldn't worry about it for unless there are other factors in?

ilovekale · 04/02/2019 18:48

*men

TulipsInbloom1 · 04/02/2019 18:48

Could he bit a bit funny about sex during pregnancy? Some men can be. I suppose the only real outcome here is that you need to have a conversation with him and ask him to be honest.

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts · 04/02/2019 18:49

Maybe it's all just getting weird for him now your getting bigger? I know my OH has mentioned it to me (currently 17+6) about how it'll be weird/is getting weird now I've got a belly. Maybe ask him?

Original poster

lelrx · 04/02/2019 18:52

I don't actually think that is the case, I feel as though he would tell me and I would rather he just said that than made up excuses? He doesn't usually avoid being honest with me so this is why I'm so confused 😢

OP posts:

1moreRep · 04/02/2019 19:01

take the sex lifeout of the equation - is anything else off? he may be going through some anxiety about becoming a father? stress at work? there's loads of factors,

it's completely normal during pregnancy to feel vulnerable - sit him down and talk. to him calmly

fwiw i don't think he's cheating

HollowTalk · 04/02/2019 19:05

How is he behaving other than that? Is he being shifty? On his phone then hiding it? Is there any mentionitis?

Original poster

lelrx · 04/02/2019 19:07

He's recently started going to the gym with his friends more and always says to me 'you' re not going to leave me are you' he's quite needy and worried that I will end our relationship.
I think I just feel abit neglected and he comes up with crap excuses but then goes and works hard in the gym
I have mentioned it before but he feels he's not good enough because he's always tired

OP posts:

CheerioHunter · 04/02/2019 19:11

It's a hard one OP. And unless you two sit down and talk about it and he admits it, you'll never know for sure.

BUT, maybe as a little reassurance, in my relationship, I've always been the one wanting it all the time. Always initiate it, and have never strayed.

The first time my partner was pregnant, nothing changed, I still wanted it all the time and we often took time to, well, spend time together.

The second time she fell pregnant, I dunno, I, just wasn't interested.
Still found her attractive, never strayed, never thought about straying.
We would spend time together but it wouldn't be for sex, so she could easily have viewed me how you're viewing your partner. But it was all innocent.

Original poster

lelrx · 04/02/2019 19:15

I suppose I am feeling slightly more insecure myself due to gaining weight and being pregnant in general so maybe I am taking it more to heart than I necessarily should
He's always so lovely but then I feel like I can't discuss it with him cause he thinks I don't want to be with him then which definitely isn't the case, I just feel he doesn't find me attractive anymore

OP posts:

Original poster

lelrx · 04/02/2019 19:19

I also feel that even before I became pregnant he never really initiated it first, I feel its always me that has to 😩

OP posts:

SandyY2K · 04/02/2019 19:35

It doesn't sound like he was ever really that into sex from what you've said.

littlemeitslyn · 04/02/2019 19:47

Yes I am going to leave you unless you man up and tell the truth

PouchofDouglas · 04/02/2019 21:19

You’re pregnant! For some men this is a huge turn on

PouchofDouglas · 04/02/2019 21:19

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