AIBU...
6 years ago when pregnant with my first child i met a fellow kindred spirit with whom I struck up a friendship with - we spent much of our maternity leave hanging out and had a good laugh...but she began to change, constantly referring to how great her life was and how brilliant things always were (marriage, lots of money, perfect kids etc 'insta perfect projections!)
Of course I was happy for her but never felt I could be real about whether or not I wasn't having such a great time..and there were times when I dreaded meeting up which is, I know, not how you should feel in a friendship.
Anyhooo..we used to meet up loads as families and as individuals, she often referred to me as the sister she never had.
I was asked to be godmother which was lovely as i have many god children and take that responsibility very seriously and in turn when i had my second child I asked her to be God mother.
When my 1st DD was little (I'm talking age 2) she hit said friends younger child, as toddlers do -- whilst I do not excuse it or condone hitting it was most definitely a phase... I was made to feel like I was a bad mother to let this happen, on what she referred to as several occasions.
I am strict but kind and loving with my kids who are now 8 and 5 and are both a delight.
Anyway, she decided that our bad parenting was a reason to stop meeting up as families but didn't tell me..
The friendship carried on for a couple more years, when we did meet (evenings with wine) we did have fun but i could definitely sense a sea change and we certainly were not as close. I felt sad as both my kids are lovely but she kept us as a family at arms length -- whenever we were over there for dinner she would show pony her 'perfect kids' and almost get them to perform as if to prove a point.
We continued to invite them for dinner and nice gatherings and then she went quiet, unfriending me on facebook and instagram but without uttering a word -- around swung my godson's birthday and i sent a nice message asking what he might like and hoping all was well and this was the reply:
'it has become incredibly complicated to see you. We have not seen you with the kids for 3 years because you continually allowed A to hit B. And then after you told C (my husband) of our conversation, it has become very uncomfortable to see him too. I don't know why anyone would ever put friends in this horrible situation but this is what you have chosen to do.
It is not our responsibility to tell other people how to behave, or question their value system they are your things to manage'
I was shocked and stunned. 6 years of friendship and the fact we were godparents to each others children, I was told over text! not even over a cuppa or wine which is what I would have done. I felt hurt, and cross that this was all because she was judging me as a mother. To put this in context, I have many wonderful lifelong friendships, my husband and I are what you would consider normal - decent careers etc loving parents and in a happy marriage. I have never fallen out with any friends before -
The thing that irks me is that despite this, i left a Christmas gift for my now ex godson , on the doorstep -- she didn't even acknowledge it.
I saw her in Tesco and she literally turned on a sixpence and ran the other way to avoid talking to me! how pathetic -- we're grown women!
Am I unreasonable to think her rude and arrogant or is it me that's the problem? I hate the idea of bad karma but i am so angry and upset still...
I know i will bump into her again sooner or later as we live in a small town so it is inevitable...what should I do/say if I see her??!! and am I unreasonable for the above.
Thanks Mumsnetters
xx