Jealous of husbands new job

[somersetsoul]

My dh and I work for the same company. He has just been promoted to an amazing role. I'm an admin assistant.

I'm currently on mat leave and am basically a glorified housekeeper. I'm due to go back in October but dh wants me to stay home rather strangers looking after our baby.

I'm so upset about losing me. Work is where I'm me and not mum. Going back would me dd going to a nursery nearly full time just so i can work part time.

I'm so down though. I can't stop crying today but will put on a happy face later to congratulate him.

Please tell me I'm being silly.

If you want to go back in October, go back. What do you mean nearly fully time nursery so you can work p/t. CAn you negotiate hours?

Well, there's a few issues here.

1. Your husband'ds new job
2. Your job and giving it up. Why are you giving in to what your h wants? Your opinion is just as valid as his.
3. Not being able to talk openly to your h about how you're feeling.

Is there another nursery option? Closer to work?

Of course you're not being silly.

I have an older son so my current hours work around school. I'll either pay for two lots of childcare for working longer hours over less days or, dd goes full time because of their sessions.

Before dd was born my hours were perfect. I dropped ds to school, worked and then picked him up. Now it won't work because nursery sessions are 8-1, 1-5 or 8-5

Childminder?

Are you sure you have to 'drop off' at 8am? Nurseries round our way have sessions and charge for the whole session but you can drop off/collect whenever you want (so long as you have told them so they can get children ready!).

Can you find a childminder instead of nursery? They can often be more flexible with hours so you only pay for what you need. Your husband is being something of a dick tbh. It sounds like he’s trying to get you to give up your job so you’re just stuck at home doing the so-called ‘wife-work’.

I'll check and see but I'm sure they prefer times stuck to. Thank you

Childminder or 8-6 nursery. Job share.

Don't give up your job. If he's been promoted there's more money for childcare.

I don't want to stay home. I'm sick of cooking and cleaning. He gives me money every month which makes me feel crap. He is the loveliest man though and would support me if I do go back. I'm just down in the dumps.

Don’t give up your career.

My nieces nursery does the sessions you mentioned, but also do a 9.00-3.00 sessions, which fits around her older sister school times. She drops off after school run, and picks up before school. She works 9.30-2.30.

Or is there a breakfast club? Or after school club? So your eldest can do longer days and buy your youngest in nursery 2 full days.

Thank you. I've just had a quick look at child minders and there are a few. Thank you x

You have to talk to your husband. Right now you two are on different pages on the future path for your family. Apparently with his promotion there is enough income to be a one income family, and from his perspective it doesn't make sense to have someone else raise your children (daycare) if not really needed financially, but your point of view is that being a SAHM is not your DNA you want to work outside of the home. He needs to know that. Both methods of raising children are great (SAHP or Daycare), but both partners have to be on the same page, or resentment will buildup.

He gives you money every month? No wonder you feel like his housekeeper!

You pay for childcare? Your h gives you money?
You do all the cooking and cleaning?

Sounds lke you need to talk to your h about the division of labour in your house...