Posting on behalf of my sister.
As ever, long and very difficult history. Hopefully the below sums up most points.
- Sister now separated from father of kids (12 and 6). He was emotionally and financially very abusive, isolating and controlling. He still is when he can get contact directly with my sister (or via the children).
- Very long and painful process to get to a point where he sees children every other weekend (now communicating via third party, in the main; he really does take every opportunity to manipulate my sister and contact leaves her distressed).
- He has slid out of all legal processes, so none of this is in law.
- He pays small amounts of maintenance when he chooses to.
So, this is the issue we need help with (currently - there have been so many others):
It's become clear that he has been saying bad things about my sister (again) while he's had the kids. Saying she's a bad mother, all she does is shout, that she will "die alone", etc. When they told her this, they were clearly very scared, as he's said that if they tell her then she'll "never let them see him again". So they're also being told to keep secrets, and are distressed by this. Their behaviour deteriorates markedly when they've been at their dads.
If my sister rings social services, will they do anything? Should she stop contact, even though the kids are so keen to see their dad?
She is confused and belittled (yet again) and doesn't know where to turn.
TIA for any pointers.