I dunno why this grinds my gears but...

[CoffeeAndASliceOfCake]

Do any other SAHM's (or dads!) get peeved when their SO's take the day off of work because they're ill, and they then sleep in well in to the afternoon.. not helping with the kids or housework all day..

I know on the surface that looks and sounds bonkers, right? Why would anyone want someone who feels under the weather to not be able to rest? But I think my bug bear comes from the fact of if I get ill, I can't get up in the morning, call the office and say I'm feeling rough so won't be showing up, then go back to bed til 1pm and ignore all my responsibilities for the rest of the day. If I wake up feeling like death, well, the two year old and the one year old aren't going to feed/bum change themselves, dinner won't cook itself, the dishes won't wash themselves (shhh, I know dishwashers exist but we aren't lucky enough to have one), laundry won't hang itself out to dry etc... I just have to get up and crack on, even if I'm vomiting out of my eyeballs!!

When my DH is off work because he's ill (be it migraine, man flu or whatever) I become equal parts 'ahhh, I should let him rest and relax' and 'errrrrr get the hell up and help me out seeing as you're home and I NEVER get a day off, sickness or not!'

And that's the end of my rant 🙄😂 hope everyone's having a good Monday so far!

So when you’re sick, and off work, there’s nobody at all to help take the kids off your hands so you can rest? That’s a dangerous position to be in cos you never know when something awful might happen and you’re incapable of just carrying on!

If you were ill, could your DH not ever take the day off work as leave and let you rest?

I do think if he’s unwell enough to be off work it’s more than acceptable for him to be in bed most of the day resting, better that than pushing himself and being off even longer cos he didn’t get time to recuperate. And when he’s at work he’s obviously busy and working as hard as you are. I know you’re being lighthearted but I really would worry about contingency planning now so if you are ever really poorly you know who can take over! Some illnesses you can just drag yourself to carry on but some you really truly can’t, and it’s nobody’s fault when that happens (and usually no prior warning)

Well if they were at work they wouldn't be helping anyway, so you are not losing out if they are in bed, unless they expect you to keep the DC quiet so they can sleep. If you are sick there wouldn't be much point staying at home if you are going to get up early and run around after children. If a sahp is really ill though the working parent should stay home and step up if it is at all possible.

You sound resentful though OP (I just re read your post to make sure I hadn’t missed something). Are you happy being a SAHM? Are you planning to return to work? Would you want to swap places with your DH?

He doesnt take the time off when I'm ill - all family work during the day so I literally just have to get on with it!
Last night before bed, he was sneezing and had a runny nose, so as far as I can tell, it's nothing more than a head cold.. not really 'take a day off of work and sleep all day' worthy in my opinion!

I'm certainly jealous that he's free to take a day off of work to lay in bed all day when I never have that opportunity, but that's the life of a SAHP!

I'm certainly jealous that he's free to take a day off of work to lay in bed all day when I never have that opportunity, but that's the life of a SAHP!

You can do that on a weekend, even if you’re not ill! Once he’s better, choose a weekend day sometime soon and indulge yourself having the day to completely relax :)

It's not unreasonable for him to stay in bed if he's ill. It is unreasonable for him not to pick up the slack if your unwell.
I'd never expect DH to take a day off if I was ill unless it was something serious. He will get someone to take the kids if needed and he will try and get home early, sort dinner and laundry etc.
Also it's ok to take a lazy day if your under the weather, cleaning etc can wait for a day.

You need to sit down together once he's better and plan how you will both handle sickness.

If he's that sick he's off work I would expect him to be in bed. If he's fit to look after the kids then he should be in work.

If you feel sick entreat you can't look after the kids then he needs to take the day off to look after them.

If he is taking time off work for a head cold but won't take time off if you are vomiting then there's a serious issue there.