Feeling really down RE romantic failures, just looking for support?

[Lizzie523]

I'm suddenly just keeled over with this overwhelming sense of heaviness/sadness today.

To explain, my ex and I broke up about this time last year after Valentine's day. It came our of the blue for me, he cheated and went off with another woman. We'd been together 2 years.

Last year I dated a guy for 3 months who restored my confidence and we had some lovely times ( I fell for him), but ultimately I broke it off as his depression meant he was unable to commit and he said he's leaving the country soon (but wants to visit each other). BUT since breaking it off 2 months ago he's in touch all the time and we see each other often.

I thought I was doing well at the friends thing until today, when we went to the theatre together and we bumped into a girl he's been getting to know through a mutual friend. She clearly fancies him and he was a bit touchy feely with her like he was with me at the beginning. Finally she asked if he wanted to go for a drink and he declined, saying he was leaving with me.

Anyway...I just feel SO bloody miserable. That my last relationship didn't work out and that I met someone that I really care for but who is leaving soon and who I'm in some weird pseudo relationship with. I just turned 27 and I'm not getting any younger...I'm.just looking for advice/hopeful stories really.

I'm torn between what Walkacrossthesand says and what others have said.

On the one hand he is literally incapable of a relationship right now - his anxiety and depression are making his own life difficult enough. Therefore he knows he can't offer a stable relationship and doesn't want to lose me either.

But even knowing those facts...It hurts me to do all the things we did together but not be able to hold his hand or kiss him anymore etc. But if I cut it off, I may regret losing this friend who has meant more to me than most, later on.

Your choice! But being “friends” with him is likely to be detrimental to your aim of being happy in a long term relationship.

I'm really not sure what to do about this right now. Reason being - we move in the same circles. I can hardly say I don't want to see you anymore bla bla when I'll probably see him more than once before he moves.

He contacted me today asking if I'm.going to mutual friends event as he is considering it. I'm going to say no, as I want to focus on other things. Is there any point in me breaching the topic of not wanting to be friends until he actually leaves?? It's tricky because I'm finding it a bit hard but a month of awkwardness or more.might be worse.

And ive considered avoiding our mutual events for a month, but i think I'd just feel worse as I really enjoy those activities.