I’ve NC’d for this.
Been with DP for several years. He has two sets of friends - normal friendship group and then work friends. When it comes to his normal friendship group I couldn’t be any more different to them all (including the girlfriends).
Whenever I’ve met them they’ve been nice and friendly which is great but that’s where it ends. I don’t want them to come across in a bad way, they’re all good, hard working people doing well in life. But they are all extremely loud and can drink alcohol like it’s water. They’re all extroverts, loud and confident. Everything’s over the top and a big deal.
I am not.... I am quiet, shy and reserved. I struggle to be around large groups of people for a long period of time especially when I have nothing in common with them and even more so when they’re all drunk. I probably come across as boring but I’m not. I drink occasionally but don’t really get drunk. I have friends but I much prefer to have lunch or dinner with, shopping or a few drinks in a bar with. All very civilised. The older I get the more I realise I prefer being around similar people. The type of people I struggle to be around are unfortunately DP’s friendship group.
His work friends are great. I am more than happy to join them in gatherings even if it includes drinking because they drink normally. They’re ‘normal’ drunk, they’re not loud and over bearing. They’re not ‘too much’ for me, I can sit and have conversations with them absolutely fine. I enjoy going.
I’ve never been a person who has to do everything with their DP. I am happy to keep social lives separate especially as me and him spend a lot of time together. His group however insist on doing 99% of things in a massive group so unless it’s the odd special occasion I always make up an excuse. I stand out like a sore thumb around them all and they must think I’m the most boring person on the planet.
I never talk of his friends negatively to him although he does know I don’t like to be around drunk people. However I also know he’d like me to do more things with his friends. But I just don’t want to, not with that group anyway - if I know something’s happening I dread the date approaching for weeks beforehand. Where as something with his work friends? Great I look forward to it! We have a few things coming up with his work friends and I’m genuinely looking forward to it, I never turn down an invite.
I worry that eventually he will get fed up. There’s nothing wrong with them being outgoing etc and I often wish I was more like them - but I’m not and I can’t change that. I don’t really know what I’m after by posting this, I just think it’s such a shame and I do feel bad for DP. I feel like a let down. 