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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sat outside cafe and too scared to go to the date

27 replies

User444441 · 03/02/2019 10:17

Supposed to be getting a coffee.

There’s no reason not to go other than me feeling scared and I don’t know why. Just want to drive off but then also do want to meet someone eventually and feel like this the only way! Sad

OP posts:
slappinthebass · 03/02/2019 10:19

Deep breath. Imagine if it were you sat there inside feeling awkward and no one turned up?

CaptainDamaged · 03/02/2019 10:19

Just breathe and know you can leave at any point if you want to, and he’s probably just as nervous! Try not to think, just let your legs do all the work walking you in! X

likeridingabike · 03/02/2019 10:20

It's just sitting having a chat and a coffee, but it will feel like a major achievement afterwards, get yourself I there.

whiteworld · 03/02/2019 10:21

Poor bloke! Imagine if you were in there...

He’s probably feeling just as nervous.

Deep breaths, smile, and go in there! Have fun.

funnylittlefloozie · 03/02/2019 10:21

Try thinking of it less as a date, more as a meet-up with a friend. The first date i went on after i split with my ex-H, i was actually too nervous to speak!! The guy was actually really nice and i carried on seeing him for a bit although it fizzled out in the end. Just go, get a coffee and a bacon sandwich and have a chat. Have fun!!

Original poster
User444441 · 03/02/2019 10:21

I used to be fine with all this, found it so easy!

I’m now tired of it I think...the thought of a potential bacon sandwich is the only thing encouraging me to go! I’m actually terrified and cannot tell why!

OP posts:
Renarde1975 · 03/02/2019 10:23

Back right out of it OP. Do not go on the date. Your instinct is telling you that there is something not right.

RangeRider · 03/02/2019 10:25

Your instinct is telling you that there is something not right.
More like 'your anxiety is telling you utter bollocks'! Go have a cuppa and a bacon sarnie. Worse case scenario you've had to endure some less than stellar company while enjoying your sarnie.

Original poster
User444441 · 03/02/2019 10:26

That’s the thing can’t tell if it’s instinct or me being an idiot!

OP posts:
flintfoxy · 03/02/2019 10:26

Deep breath - get yourself in there and just see it as a chat with someone!

Teaandcrisps · 03/02/2019 10:27

Go for it girl - nerves are totally normal. You will be fine and probs enjoy yourself.

Renarde1975 · 03/02/2019 10:30

Just to clarify OP, do you have and underlying anxiety issues?- as in - has this happened before? If not, if you're usually OK socialising then it's a red flag because you must have exchanged messages.

Original poster
User444441 · 03/02/2019 10:30

Ahhhhh on my way! Thanks for the support!!

OP posts:
Original poster
User444441 · 03/02/2019 10:31

Yes anxiety but also not massively keen on men after a horrible relationship ended..

OP posts:
Renarde1975 · 03/02/2019 10:32

OK OP, please be careful and as PP have said, you can always just get up and go.

IMakeNoPromises · 03/02/2019 10:32

Let us know how it goes!!

Renarde1975 · 03/02/2019 10:32

How long ago did that relationship end OP?

Teaandcrisps · 03/02/2019 10:33

Brilliant- well done! Let us know how it goes - well excited for you!

oldowlgirl · 03/02/2019 10:34

Hope it went well.

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 03/02/2019 10:35

Aww good luck OP.

I felt the same way about 3 months ago driving to a first date with a guy who seemed nice but I really wasn't sure I'd fancy.

I'm about to go on a romantic mini break with same bloke next weekend,.. I fancy the pants off him, we are deliriously happy and in love Grin

NameChangeNugget · 03/02/2019 10:37

Fingers crossed it went well Grin

legolimb · 03/02/2019 10:48

Ah - hope it goes well OP.

It's just an hour out of your life. MIght be great - might not.

I had a few dates from online dating sites - it gets easier the more you practice :)

BlimeyCalmDown · 03/02/2019 10:57

Well done for going in! Let us know how it went!

whiteworld · 03/02/2019 11:27

Good for you! Hope it went well.

Original poster
User444441 · 03/02/2019 13:38

It went well but not sure how I feel! As is always the way with me and probably why I am still single!

Last proper relationship ended about 6 months agin

OP posts: