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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I feel invisible to him

11 replies

Bazz90 · 02/02/2019 22:55

I always try so hard to get affection from my partner, we have been together 2.5 years. He is such a cold person, he never wants a conversation or to be close. At the start he was lovely and so affectionate..but now I feel like I just annoy him. Every time I try and cuddle him he's too hot or he just wants space. He is so rude to me at times also. All he does when he gets home from work is sit on his phone all night. He never wants sex, he has turned me down so many times I can't count.. I just feel so unwanted. Does anyone else experience this?

OP posts:
ImNotKitten · 02/02/2019 22:56

What do you get out of this relationship?

HollowTalk · 02/02/2019 22:58

You're wasting your life with this man. Whether he's now bored or whether (my guess) he's involved with someone else, it's clear that he has checked out of the relationship. It's time for you to tell him it's over.

What's your housing situation like? I assume you don't have children together - is that right? Do you share finances?

toffeeapple123 · 02/02/2019 23:01

What an awful way to feel, I am sorry you are going through this. Have you tried talking to him? Is this a relationship you want to salvage? My advice would be to check out of the relationship - it's only going to make you miserable. You deserve so much better. Move on and find true happiness with someone else Flowers

MMmomDD · 02/02/2019 23:03

If this is your life after 2.5 years - what would it be at 5, or 10 years together?

There is no reason to stay in this relationship. It’s already broken and has no future.

Original poster
Bazz90 · 02/02/2019 23:11

I don't know what I get out of it... nothing actually..I was so confident before I met him but have someone reject you so much really takes a toll on your self esteem .. we had an argument back in October and he left for 4 days. I was hysterical..I honestly don't know why I love him so much. I think I'm just living in hope

OP posts:
Original poster
Bazz90 · 02/02/2019 23:12

I have 2 children of my own. He doesn't have any. But tells me he wants one with me

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 02/02/2019 23:56

Oh, god. Just don’t have a child with him. Unless being a single mother of 3 has an appeal.....

This isn’t love. It’s like you have a Stockholm syndrome - where prisoners developed affection for their captors.
You keep hoping that he’ll give you affection and validation. And it’s pointless. Completely.

allaboutHR · 03/02/2019 00:05

You might have been Love Bombed?

Weenurse · 03/02/2019 00:13

Leave

Dragongirl10 · 03/02/2019 00:17

OP leave there is no hope here...you may feel like you love him but he doesn't care for you, get over him and look for someone who adores you....

2019willbegreat · 03/02/2019 00:18

My H was a bit like this. But I loved him so much. 23 years later we are divorcing. I tried to accept it but it ate away at me. Resentment built up and I turned to alcohol. I wish I'd left years ago when I was younger. Get out now.

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