Broke up a month ago his stuff is still here

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

Hi
My fiancee walked out on me on new years day his stuff is still here and I am absoloutly heartbroken still. I would love nothing more than for him. To come back and say he's been an idiot. He has been to beiw 2 flats today and just knowing that kills me. I am not wanting this Nd am not ready for him to collect his things I have done nothing wrong yet am being made to feel like it's all my fault. Am I being stupid I know he has to take his things and he hasn't exactly been asking when he can he still has a key. But am I stupid for not wNting to let go I have had that many failed relation ships I just feel doomed. I loved him so much Nd this is breaking my heart. I need to move on and am trying I just don't feel ready to let him go x

Take a deep breath. You have no choice about 'letting him go' he's an adult, he has made his choice. You cannot change that, cannot control it.

All you can do is gather your self esteem up, give it a cuddle and start your new life.

Rant away on here, get it/him out if your system, if it helps.

Good luck

I don’t think you stupid, him taking his things is reality that things are over. I’m in the same position sat here with all my eXDP lying around the house, and his DC. Pictures on the walls, clothes, toys, it’s torture. I’ve asked him to collect tomorrow, I don’t know if he will. I’ve changed the locks, so I know when he comes.

That could be your opportunity to take back some control... Set him a date to get his stuff out of YOUR HOME.

Reclaim your space

Thanks everyone I know its inevitable but am just finding it so hard we were supposed to be getting married this year and his mums is down the road were he is atm and I pass it everyday on way to work. I really don't feel ready but I know eventually it's gonna happen.

Why did he walk out OP ? To do it on New Years Day is a big just close in the teeth. Did you argue ? Or did he just up and leave out of the blue? Has he given you a reason ? So sorry that you are dealing with heartbreak. It sucks

Big kick in the teeth, Damn stupid phone.

Is it possible for you to move as well?

Obviously it depends on your situation but if there is any way that you can find a new place then I would highly recommend it, best way to start a fresh and move on.

Then you can just drop a text saying that you're moving on X date and so he needs to have collected his things by then. If he doesn't bother then... Give them to charity I suppose?

If he's viewing flats then he isn't coming back. I'm so sorry OP.

I know it's really hard but you have to be strong. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with good friends and wine and chocolate xx

We had been fighting because he was paranoid I was looking at surprising him for a weekend away for his birthday and he was asking me to show him what I was doing all the time in my phone. And it's my house I have a mortgage on it his names not on it and av been thinking of seelling up and moving back in with my parents so. I can go to uni but my parents don't want me selling up or moving out the house. X

Crikey! Sounds as though he had trust issues. Maybe it's a good thing. He can sort himself out and you can move on with your life.

As for your parents, well, maybe they don't want to sahre their home gain. Maybe they don't want you to give up your independence, step on the housing ladder. Whatever their reasons don't force their hand!

Could you get a lodger to help with costs? So you can go to Uni and make the most of your unexpected opportunity (freedom)?

I can't get a lodger as I only have a 2 bedroom and theirs me and my daughter. I know they mean well and I do get it. But I have even said Bout renting the house out instead of selling up and they still don't seem intrested xx