Was he playing me?

[toffeeapple123]

I was seeing a guy last year.

I'll leave out a lot of the detail, just want your thoughts on this particularly:

He's early-mid 30s, never had a girlfriend, but lots of one night stands/flings. He said he's never been able to get the women he's wanted and hadn't been with a women for longer than 2-3 months. He told me he wasn't looking for something serious. And I was initially fine with that. But when I mentioned I was dating others, he wasn't happy and said we should be exclusive and give things a go. We tried to. But he would always act out. Every 6 weeks or so, he would find a reason to break things off. Firstly, it was his career - he wouldn't be able to start a family for me until later in life. Other times we weren't compatible. It was always something. Sometimes it was me. He'd always come running back though. He acted like he didn't want me, yet couldn't let me go. He would even cry. He'd say he was inexperienced, didn't know how to behave, it's him, not me, etc.

In the end, I blocked him (but he did have other channels to contact me if he really wanted to).

Was he genuinely just messed up - he did have mental health issues - or playing me?

Jeez OP why are you still with him? Dump him and his demaeaning behaviour towards you. You deserve so much better.

By the way, keep blocking him on whatever medium he contacts you through. What a knob!

If he abused you, he will abuse others. And has probably done so in past. Most abusers build up so that their partner is sucked in first before things really ramp up. Clearly he goes from 0-100 very quickly, making it easier for the women to realise and move on. He won't find someone and if he does, she is probably pre disposed to accept abuse from previous trauma. Just be grateful you are out of it.

@Also Valid points there. Very valid.

'I mean this kindly, but I think you should spend your time thinking about why you tolerated his behaviour for any length of time at all, rather than on why he acted the way he did.'

Absolutely this

I'm with BoyAndBuses Yhat thing you did at the beginning of your thread was pretty rude. If you acknowledged the first poster you should have said so or even thanked them

@1Redacted1 you fucking whaaaaaat???? Bahahahahahahaha!

1Redacted1 I agree with TheStoic and all the other people who have posted on here. I don't find your posts welcoming or supportive though. That's why I've asked you twice to leave off. But I guess you can't help yourself.

BoysandbusesNot that i need to justify myself to you for 'educating' me on how to use Mumsnet on my thread, but I was bumping the post for other comments. I wasn't ignoring the previous poster.

I wasn't educating you. I was telling you, you were rude. You can acknowledge and bump at the same time. You chose not. You were ignoring the previous poster, because you didn't respond. It was clear that wasn't the answer you wanted.

It's a public forum, like in real life, if I think people are rude I will tell them they are being rude.

@Boysandbuses 👏🏼

Hi folks

Can we move on now, please? It'd be nice to get the thread back on track.