What would you LTB over?

[GirlOnIt]

What would be your straight away no chance given reasons to leave?

I know I can leave for any reason big or small and I know when things happen it's not so simple as just leaving. But out of curiosity and to know if I'm crazy for considering it. What would be a instant deal breaker for you, what would you give a chance on but expect quick changes?

I’d walk over cheating. (Any variation including EA)

Cheating, serious lying, money hiding, emotional/physical abuse, drug abuse, crazy interfering PIL who can't be stopped or won't be stopped.

Cheating. Violence towards me or towards anyone really. Emotional abuse. Controlling behaviour. Lying about money. There are probably other things but those are the ones that leap to mind straight away.

Anything negatively affecting my child. Physical, verbal, emotional. I’m done.

I chucked my exh out for claiming we were skint because he was on a low wage. A year later found out he was flush while I was borrowing from family to pay bills.
Haven't seen him since the day I told him to leave.
Would do it again.
And anything related to contact of any sort with another woman.

LTB:
Finding out (so without them disclosing) they were a registered sex offender/conviction for domestic abuse/other violent crime

Stealing from me/family funds for any reason

Any sort of abuse of my child

Saying "That Katie Hopkins/Nigel Farrage/Piers Morgan comes in for a lot of shit, but I think they express the views most people have but are afraid to express"

Chance to change:
Getting butthurt over me sleeping with other people

Expressing the idea that my housework is substandard and that it's somehow my job to do their share of it

Criticising my parenting

Repeatedly asking for a loan "just until payday" for everyday expenses such as buying lunch, fuel, cigarettes (grr)

Whining about "we never do anything as a couple" and then failing to ever suggest any activities beyond sitting on the settee watching X Factor

Sorry I'm just channelling my last ex there! 🙈

Um, in the past, i think my LTB tipping point wasn't at all in the right place, and I should have legged it much sooner.

Now, basically, if the relationship squashes me, makes me into someone I don't want to be, if it feels hard too much of the time, I won't stay. If the the other person would have to change character for me to be happy. Got to accept people as they are, not who they could be.

Cheating and/or abuse (physical or emotional). I went through over a decade of hell with my ex with constant cheating and EA (and some gaslighting thrown in when I found about the first cheating incident to make me think I was imagining everything). I wouldn't put up with that again.

Drug use.
Violence.
Abuse of any kind.

Nothing else automatically.

I wouldn't be with a virtue-signalling twat in the first place, so no need to add "woke"ness...

No cheating. I know that would be a instant deal breaker for me though.
I think he might be showing me who he is though and I don't like it. Pre Ds I'd be gone, but children do complicate things and I guess I'm hopeful it's maybe just us adjusting to a baby.

Farting in bed.
Keeping me a secret from his family.

Wasting money. Not being ambitious. Laziness. Lack of motivation. Violence to anyone. Getting in trouble with the police.
Cheating wouldn't be a deal breaker for us.

Cheating; emotional/physical abuse; not being kind to DS; lying; misogyny; homophobia; racism.

Those are the immediate deal breakers. Other behaviours can wear you down with time though I think and be totally legitimate.

Cheating he knows I would walk away from, even if I found out about it years later, I’ve done that with xh and he knows the effect it had on me so that would be instant divorce and we wouldn’t be friends after

How is he showing you who he is? When our son was born for a good few months after I hated dh. It was very very hard and he just wasn’t the support to me I needed. We would of without a doubt split if it wasn’t for the kids. But, with a lot of talking and wanting it to work things have improved and continue to get better. He keeps trying to improve tho, everyone has faults and so long as we both recognise them and work on them and realise it will never be all roses in life I think we will be ok.
At the core tho, our values are the same. That is important

Cheating
Violence
Anything related to paedophilia

Chance to change:
Getting butthurt over me sleeping with other people

Presumably before the relationship?!

Debt or lack of ability to manage money. I worked hard for my financial security, no partner would put that in jeopardy.

@user1466690252 do you mind me asking how you did this? I’m in the same boat and we’re trying but it’s hard, on both of us.

Hard work ALL the time and no giving.
Having had a wonky relationships radar in my youth I ended up in relationships which really should have ended earlier when I was doing all the giving and they were doing all the taking.
You don't want to be an emotional shit bucket.

Cheating
Abuse of any type to anyone including me
Major lies: money/addiction etc.
Not wanting to work