Need to help/advice

[Vilot]

Hiya, I'm new to this. I'm 29 I haven't got any friends yet have all my family but I just feel I don't want to tell them how I'm feeling and I don't have anyone else to talk to.
I just need some advice, iv been with my fiance for 11 years been engaged for years and I have two children with this guy, but for as long as I can remember my feelings towards him are changing and I'm not sure if I'm even happy with him anymore, my libedo is non exsistant and it's been like this for years... And he get frustrated. I honestly hate being kissed hate him kissing me and touching me I don't mind hugging but anything after that I can't stand, I don't want to have sex with him but this guy is so good to me he's does so much for me and treats me well so iv no idea what the hell is wrong with me I feel awful I feel like such a nasty person but I just can't shake these feelings they won't go. He doesn't really spend anytime with him he plays on his games and in his phone so I feel lonely most the time and I'm on my own everyday and when he comes home and kids are in bed we just don't talk we don't watch films we don't go out for meals he doesn't want to do any thing with me he suffers with depression so I guess that's why but I'm thinking this must be why I'm feeling like this towards him I'm so lonely and I can't leave him I'd have nothing absolutely nothing I live in his home I do work but my income isn't what he has coming in and iv got my children, and I don't no how we would be living with out him in our own house, I'm feeling so low because I do feel a little stuck I just don't no what to do and I'm 29 should have my life sorted I should be happy but I'm miserable and I'm lonelier then even and have no one to talk to. Absolutely no one.
I just needed to rant and hopefully get some advice. Xx

I think you need to tell him how you feel. That you feel lonely - but if you really dont want to be physical with him any more then its probably the beginning of the end. Would you like to reconnect with him? Can you recapture what you once had? Would couples therapy help?

Thank you for you reply Lozzerbmc.
I have had that conversation with him a fair few times on how I'm feeling g and he does say he will change the parts that's making me feel like that, and he does for a day or so but then back to normal ways in no time and we are back to square one! It's so frustrating. We do say we love each other all the time and I know I love him, but it's the physical side I'm struggling with and it isnt him at all I'm feeling uncomfortable with myself and how I look that it's now effecting being intamite with him and iv explained this to him and when I say no he does tend to get a bit abusive towards be out of frustration and will apologise for having a moan at me but then I feel even worse.. Naturally.
I would love to be able to reconnect with him if he was to put in a little more effort and spend some time with me I'm sure it be a different story and I wouldn't feel so low about things and myself.
I'd be open to couples therapy but he wouldn't go for it at all he does t like talking about feelings and things like that not even with me so that's probably out of the question.