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Original poster

Ex Parents in Law

12 replies

CF43 · 01/02/2019 20:33

Hi,his is going to sound daft but I'm getting divorced and it's my ex father in laws 80th birthday party in a few months and i've not been invited. My ex husband wants to take my son and has said he will drop me off at my parents but i'm not allowed to go.

Tonight he's said what do you expect your divorcing my whole family.

I know I don't love my ex husand and we have issues but that kind of hurt we've been together 18 years since middle 20's and up to now I've had a really good relationship with the in-laws. And now i've been dropped.

I guess it had to happen, but why does it hurt.

OP posts:
ThomasRichard · 01/02/2019 20:36

Sympathies OP. My exH’s family didn’t so much as send me a text when he walked out on me and the DC. I’ve seen exMIL a couple of times and she’s blanked me entirely while fussing over the kids.

I’m not surprised you’re not invited to the party as it would be incredibly awkward for everyone but it does hurt.

LellyMcKelly · 01/02/2019 20:50

They probably asked your ex what he would prefer. That’s what I would have done in their shoes.

MrsLandingham · 01/02/2019 21:16

Par for the course, I'm afraid.

My X-PIL offered no support whatsoever when XDH left, and they showed minimal interest in DGC even though they lived within thirty miles. On one memorable occasion they took her out to eat & X-MIL sat in the car, staring ahead & refusing to acknowledge me. Some years later, I wrote X-MIL a letter, telling her exactly what I thought of her behaviour. Boy, was that cathartic Grin

ivykaty44 · 01/02/2019 21:22

It just depends on the family and how you want things to be

I would rather poke my eyes out than go to my ex in-laws for a party but ex wife number 2 goes along to all the family parties and gets on well with ex fil, though and mil still goes shopping with her

Everyone is different, I just made sure the ds saw their grandma and then when they were older it’s up to them, I have my own life to lead and want to keep it separate

ChristmasFlary · 01/02/2019 21:25

Did you previously get on well with them?

XH left me for OW in 2017 after 20 years. Am still in contact with PIL as they are very upset with him, but ultimately he is their son.

My MIL also turns 80 this year and l know l won't be invited to celebrate with the family

Slimerecipehell · 01/02/2019 21:44

I’ve been here, time is a great healer. My ex in-laws dropped almost all contact throughout the divorce but a good few years later things are lovely. They now help out with child care on a regular basis independently of ex and it works just fine. I still find it weird when there is a wedding/birth/death in the family as I was a big part of it and then suddenly you’re not.

LemonTT · 01/02/2019 23:54

OP. This really doesn’t chime with your other posts where you don’t have a good word to say about DH or the in laws. I’m not surprised they don’t want you there as you previously refused to allow their grandson to go because you don’t trust them or his DH to look after him. You need to back off and let your DH parent.

I have real sympathy for your DH now and real concern for your son.

ChristmasFlary · 02/02/2019 11:22

I agree.... you called your ex MIL a "right bitch" on a previous thread. That doesn't smack of a good relationship to me!

Boysandbuses · 02/02/2019 11:27

I think this is the right thing. You had a relationship with them because of your husband. They are his family and I think it's right that if he doesn't feel he wants you there, that you aren't.

And quite frankly you didn't have a good relationship with them, so it is definitely the right thing to do.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/02/2019 16:07

Ah, sounds a bit more complicated than your OP.

Do you mean your ex is taking HIS son to HIS father’s birthday? Because that’s a perfectly normal thing for a person to do.

Original poster
CF43 · 02/02/2019 17:38

Yes he'll be taking him to his fathers 80th party and dropping me off at my parents whom live about 20 minutes away.

Then picking me up in the morning, so at least I get to see my parents for the time he's having fun.

We've all had our moments most of the time we've been really good happy and going out but when i say no to something or change a time slightly then all hell breaks loose and i'm a bad person.

It's done now and i'm okay with out.

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 02/02/2019 17:58

Then picking me up in the morning, so at least I get to see my parents for the time he's having fun.

This sort if language is a bit silly. Is you exh not allowed to have fun with his son and his own family.

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