Help with online dating

[LearningMySelfWorth]

I am totally new to online dating so I need site recommendations and then some pointers on what types of pictures to put and what to put in the descriptions. I'm on a limited income so I need to consider that when considering recommendations.

Bump

I wouldn't be afraid of using free dating apps like: Tinder, Happn and Bumble.
Most people use these and there is less pressure because it's a free app. It is fairly easy to sniff out people who aren't serious they tend to put it all out on the table first thing.

My advice is to go on lots of dates with an open mind... just get out there, casual drinks, dinner, bike rides whatever. Just be yourself, be true to who you are and enjoy dating for what it is... a chance to meet new people and have fun and MAYBE you'll meet the love of your life.

Remember that your expectations are just as important as your dates and if your not keen on something he/she says or does then say so! Honesty is always the best policy!!

@ladyljc1963, I don’t think I’m looking for anything serious tbh. I just think I’d like to try dating, but I’m not up for sex and my concern is that it’s expected with things like tinder. Plus I have no mine novelty pictures of my on my own which will make my profile interesting to say the least 😂

Right confidence and honest is key. I can do that. My main fear is bumping into someone I’ve spoken to on online dating in real life having decided not to meet 😂

I met my wonderful husband online! I highly recommend it.

My advice would be date ‘like a man’ and don’t take it too seriously and don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Don’t chat too long before meeting, you can usually tell pretty quickly face to face if it’s worth pursuing.

Have high standards!

I used Plenty of Fish for dating 😊 Met my now-partner through it

Oh yes plenty of fish was where I met DH too.

My issue is according to the last guy that I’m not the girl guys want to date. I’m the one they bring home to the parents as a friend and eventually when no one else will have them marry. Apparently my standards are higher than my looks justify, needless to say I said goodbye to him quickly.

I know a few people who met husbands on old. I met quite a few really nice men and had a few relationships. My advice is don't take it too seriously. Just think of it as chatting to a stranger like you would at a bus stop or on the train. It's no big deal. Don't have first meeting 'dates'. Meet someone for a coffee or an agreed 'one drink'. This gives you an opportunity to leave early if you don't like him. No advice about a photo because I never used one. Good luck

I don’t think I’m looking for anything serious tbh. I just think I’d like to try dating, but I’m not up for sex

So you want something casual, no commitment but also no sex? You have to be up front about what you want from dating on your profile, it will help turn away those who want an LTR or just a shag.

Apparently my standards are higher than my looks justify, needless to say I said goodbye to him quickly.

Well he sounds lovely! I can’t think why he’s single

Keep your high standards. Don’t let arseholes like that think you’re worth less than you are.

I’m really confused what you are looking for???

Honestly I want to meet someone and date and see where it goes. That’s what I mean by not wanting something serious. I don’t want to jump into a commitment without dating first. But I’m not interested in sleeping with every other man I go on a date with. I’d rather take things slowly.

Tbh I don’t think my standards are higher than what should be standard anyway 😂 just someone with a similar sense of humour who interested in at least some similar things, who isn’t a dick and enjoys my company.

@LearningMySelfWorth Tinder is just for laughs. It's definitely not a sex only app. Yeah, I'm sure the majority of males (no offence) would be up for it if it was on offer but it's entirely up to you if you're offering.

If you don't want to have sex, no one can force you. AND we are very fortunately entering a new age of consent... it is better understood and we are all learning that it's just not cool to assume you're getting laid!

Don't sell yourself short, there are plenty of people out there who would like to enjoy your sex-free company for an evening x

One word of warning in the world of online dating "not wanting something serious" means I just want sex.

People are so hung up about Tinder. I'm away at the moment, my American friend is here too (separate apartment). I didn't want to go out -again. She gets onto Tinder & arranges drinks & dinner. Has a great evening, no sex involved, just company.

OLD is just a catalogue, choose a date, go out. If you like them, do it again if you don't, move on!

@Sexnotgender ah ok didn’t realise that. Won’t say that then 😊.

@Notwiththeseknees, less of a hang up more of a I don’t want to come across a family members profile as I’m aware several of them use it 😂.

@LearningMySelfWorth I didn't mean you in particular, just so many women hang back. TBF though, seeing Great Uncle Charlie's best profile pic could be traumatising........ although worse if he asks for a date
Most men are thick though and if your pictures are subtle enough, they won't even recognise you. Also, you could initially put up a spoof photo, search out the rellies and make sure your criteria don't overlap theirs....
Or search them out anyway and message them "Hi Uncle Fred - you aren't 53, you are 67 you old liar!"

My fav was tinder.... but I'm biased. I went on a date with a guy from tinder, few years later were married and expecting baby number 1

It's not all bad, chat and build your confidence first. When I went on id not been on the 'dating' scene for almost 17 years because of a long marriage.
I used POF and Bumble.
I had two brief flings with perfectly nice men, one from each. Two other non starter dates.
Then I met my current partner. We have been together for almost a year and are very happy and planning on moving in together in the spring.
Good luck

1. Use the free ones.
2. Just a couple of nice, honest, recent pics.
3. No elongated chats. Just meet for coffee at lunch or after work.
4. Set bullshit detector to the max. Taking time to agree to meeting, off-colour jokes etc, move on.
5. That's it. Have fun.

But - what does 'not up for sex' mean. On a first date, up to you. Ever? Then you probably shouldn't be dating at all, or you should make that absolutely clear at the outset.

I’m Christian @BlokeHereInPeace and while I’m not as strict as others I’m not going have a fling. I’d not sleep with someone I couldn’t see a long term future with at least.

That's fine, but bear in mind that others will not share this sensibility. I think there are Christian dating sites, perhaps try them? Wishing you the best.

I’d recommend OKC - there are lots of questions to fill out, including some about religion and attitudes to sex. If you fill those in and set them as very important, you can see what other people have answered.

On a more general note, agree with what others have said here - keep it light, take everything with a large pinch of salt, exchange face pics early on and listen to your gut instinct. Good luck!

Sorry - OKC = OkCupid

I my (fairly limited) OLD experience and bearing in mind your values, etc, I would say you are better off somewhere like Match.com where you aren't just swiping endless faces with no bio/info and can read a bit about someone before deciding to message them. I think you can also search according to religion/beliefs too, or if not, certainly filter this way.