Forced house sale! Help!

[Bbang]

Posting here for traffic.

Does anyone have experience of this, me and ex split up when our son was 2 he is now nearly 6.

Divorce went through without last year with no financial order, he didn’t ask and I didn’t push for one he was doing it himself whilst I had a solicitor so maybe he didn’t know about it? Not sure.

He’s putting a lot of pressure on me to sell the house it’s getting too much, he’s bringing it up every week. I’ve been told by my solicitor I could go for a mersher order to stay in the house until our child is 18 but ex is saying that’s unfair as he’ll be 50 by the time it’s sold.

My problem I I work part time and the mortgage company won’t let me take the house on my own as they’d want me to remortgage and I don’t have enough.

The mortgage is an interest only mortgage has been for the whole 12 years we’ve lived here, the deposit is £19,500 and came from him not me so his argument is I should buy him out for half the deposit money but again I don’t have the 9kish. And frankly I can afford the £270ish monthly payment quite easily and why should I rent? But he’s saying I get a lot of financial help, CHB and CTC and the maintenance, he has 182 nights a year which is pretty much 50/50 barring a night or two.

So basically what’s my chances? If it went to court which is what he’s threatening will I get the order and be able to stay and sell in 12 years when he’s 18 and pay him the 9k then or will the judge say that’s too long for him to wait as he needs to rehouse himself and his other child (he has a baby with on off again gf) and he has them in his room he rents.

But my problem is that if we split the money 9k each isn’t really enough for each of us to buy somewhere else. But he’s saying he can’t buy again even if he did manage to save another deposit if he’s on the mortgage so he’ll be stuck renting etc.

Don’t really know what to do tbh.

You'll also be splitting any equity the house has acquired in the 12 years since you've bought it. It must be worth more now than it was 12 years ago?

Get a few estate agents round to give you an up-to-date valuation, then see what you'd both be left with after the mortgage is paid off. Would splitting that final amount put you in a better position to buy somewhere?

You should be guided by your solicitor. But consider what position you will be in 12 years from now if the house is sold. Can you rely on an interest only mortgage for that time as well. Plus it’s not a lot of money to go to court over. For either of you.

His real need is to get off the mortgage ASAP, for that the equity may be worth sacrificing if it means a court case.

I'd also see a mortgage adviser too. Many mortgage companies (like Nationwide and the Woolwich) allow you to count Tax Credits, Maintenance and Child Benefits as income, meaning you might be able to get a bigger mortgage than you think.

If you could get a new mortgage and get rid of your ex for just £9k, I think I'd go for it. Moving is SO expensive, it could cost you £9k in fees just to move...

How likely is it that you could get a full-time job now your son is 6? You could set a plan of getting a full-time job, gathering 3 or 6 months' worth of payslips (I don't know how many you'd need; ask the mortgage adviser), keep your bank accounts in credit so you look like you're amazing with money, then try to get a mortgage yourself.

But he’s saying he can’t buy again even if he did manage to save another deposit if he’s on the mortgage so he’ll be stuck renting etc.

He will be able to buy again. You are allowed to buy more than one house! But he'll have to pay an additional 3% Stamp Duty on the new house as it'll count as his second property.

It’s been valued between 140 and 145k we bought it for 140k so possibly 5k equity but possible it would sell for what we bought it for.

I’d like him off the mortgage too so it’s not hanging over my head anymore, but the mortgage company wants me to remortgage but yet won’t take me on alone so that’s brilliant.

My solicitor did say it won’t look good for me that he is living in shared accommodation which is all he can afford and that he has her 50/50 with me and I’m working etc. She alluded that is possibly get the order but they’d take in to account his age on completion and the fact that’s his only asset and has a need to house himself and our son too. She basically said I’d get housing benefits etc if I were to rent and he wouldn’t.

I may have to let him buy me out but I know he’ll play hard ball with cash.

@mollylips he’s been to a mortgage adviser he doesn’t earn enough or have good enough credit to be approved for a second mortgage

I think personally if he has her 50/50 and is in shared accommodation you should sell.

Clean slate for both of you and on to pastures new. It’s not ideal for either of you but as it stands it’s serms very unfair on him.

Can you get a full-time job now? Or at least more hours?

How much do you have to earn to get a £149k mortgage (with you giving him the £9k)?

I was in your position and couldn’t buy exh out. It was complicated and the court ordered a sale even though I had two small dc with sn and exh didn’t have contact with them. I was paying the mortgage and bills comfortably but exh wouldn’t contribute and he wanted his share of the equity.

Everyone’s case is different though and you need to listen to your solicitor.

A clean break is preferred in divorce these days as far as possible so some people you may know will give you outdated advice.

I agree with @Atalune.

He has her 50/50 and pays maintenance, you get all the CTC and CHB whilst living in the former marital home, you work part time so should get WTC too and your son is in school. Time to get a full time job.

Sorry but I’m failing to see why it’s fair he has to live in a shared house (I assume when you say rented room) that’s what you mean. Would you accept that for yourself? I don’t think you would, I can see his frustration your said you split when your son was 2 and he’s 6 now so that’s 4 years of no resolution you must see why he’s now starting to get ansty with you? The fact he needs to rent a room and not private rent a flat tells me his finances aren’t so great and that maybe he can’t afford to privately rent. You’ve said why should you when the interest payment is so low well why should he?

Don’t you want him to have a stable and secure place for him to house your son seeing as he has 50/50 care?

I would let him buy you out if you can’t be taken on for a mortgage by yourself, I’m not sure a court would allow a mesher order that last so long and would make him 50 by the time it’s sold, the court has a duty of care to your sons above you or your ex but they will take it account that’s his only asset, he has nothing else, he’s forced to rent a room, he pays maintenance when he needent, he has 50% of the year etc.

It’s not looking so good for you and like I said if you can’t get a mortgage on your own then to sell to him would be the best option you could agree a sale of 145k and split it either 50/50 or 60/40 and come away with nearly 13/15k. The fact that he’s paid in the entire deposit and neither of you have paid anything off the mortgage then honestly him giving up that much of his money I think is more than fair.

I agree with snowball. If I'd put £19,500 deposit down on a property and was living in a shared house I'd be so pissed off. I feel like he's getting the rough deal.