This all sounds very pathetic, i know...

[Fiona0x]

But I'm not sure where to go from here.

Dp & I have been together for 5 years and I'm 39w pregnant with our 2nd DC. We've never really had loads of sex (a few times a month after DC was born) and this wasn't really ever enough for me, I feel that I probably have pressured him about it years ago but I kind of stopped caring as I never expected anything to change - which it shouldn't have to, that's just how he is and that's fine, I love him.

I genuinely have had a feeling the last few years that we aren't right for each other, I do love him to bits and he's a wonderful father and provider but we just don't click.

I've recently started to feel as though I give him 'the ick', like everything I do or say irritated him. If I try to talk about an issue he will respond with 'oh for fuck sake' or 'oh please', as if he's tired of hearing me speak. He doesn't seem interested in anything I have to say or anything that's happened in my day, regardless if it involves either of his children.

I tried to talk to him about how I felt last night and I am very hormonal so I couldn't hold back the tears, he apologized for how I have been feeling and gave me a love but we've been here before.

I don't want to make him feel like he has to treat me a particular way that he doesn't want to, If you catch my drift.

Sorry, this post has been very long and much more of a pity party than I intended, I just wondered if anyone had ever felt something similar and if there was a way back?

OP, so sorry you're feeling like this at 39w.

He apologised last night and hugged you but didn't explain his behaviour? So you're none the wiser?

I genuinely have had a feeling the last few years that we aren't right for each other

I don't understand why, if you've had this feeling for a few years, you decided to have a baby with him?

From the sounds of it this is the familiar tale of two people who should have called it quits some time ago but who couldn't actually bring themselves to realise they've become house mates rather than lovers. You're friends, nothing more, and I don't think, based on many similar threads on MN over the years, you can get it back once it's gone. Sorry, OP, I suspect that's not what you wanted to hear but read back what you wrote. You admit you don't click. You love him but not in that way. You've felt this for years. You've been aware for ages and you know it because you say you've been here before. You stopped caring. Why are you suddenly caring about it now? Hormones and the pregnancy.

I'm sorry OP but I think the two of you aren't properly compatible and you should probably get through the birth and early stages and then at a suitable time separate but hopefully continue your good friendship to be good parents. But nothing more.

We weren't together long before I fell pregnant with dc1, then we just moved in together and did everything we thought that we should, we're good parents I think and work well as a team so having another baby seemed the right thing to do.

There's been times when I've felt like we have really connected and he was right for me, I just feel as though he's very distant. I almost feel emotionally neglected, I just can't imagine my life without him as my partner. I know that he loves me but I don't think that he's in love with me.

I do actually agree with everything you have said, Shatner

I wouldn't do anything just yet. At that stage in pregnancy I was all over the place and hated dh at times- also you don't need stress at the moment

But it doesnt sound great either. I wouldn't like the annoyance he seems to show towards you - you will have no confidence in yourself or happiness.

Just leave things for now but you could plan for possibility on your own

It does sound like it's not you, it's him- maybe he's unable to click with another human in a deeper way than this, and it isn't just you.

It may feel a bit weird and scary for you now because you started a thread about it- that has made you have to write it down, which makes it all the more real doesn't it! I say no sudden movements because of the pregnancy, but do look to the future with the view that you do have to be able to be financially independent from him, whatever happens. You need all options to be open to you.
Bug hugs.

I agree- I definitely won't make any decisions right now, I know I'm super hormonal and I am probably difficult to live with too.

I do just want to feel like he loves me enormously and I want to be intimate with him (not just sex). We will see. Thank you all for taking the time to respond