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Original poster

Should I go on my own?

15 replies

Nc2201 · 30/01/2019 11:46

I don’t know if iabu or not about this. Dp and I live together. We don’t have joint finances, split everything 50/50.
I really need a sun holiday and found a week long haul holiday for a really good price in about a months time, which I could easily afford . Suggested it to dp. He said he was worried about money and annual leave booking. When I said I totally understood that but would potentially still go (either on my own or with a friend) he was not happy, because he felt like I was guilting him about not going. I’m not— I just can afford this easily, can afford the time off work, I really need it (for physical and mental health reasons!) and we have nothing booked holiday-wise this year.
I honestly don’t mind if he doesn’t want to go. He would be my first choice to come with but if he doesn’t think it’s a good use of his time/money that’s fine, I’ve always been more into travel than him. But should that stop me going?
Aibu And please help me decide whether to book it or not as I’m now feeling like if I do, dp will take it badly, and it sucks because I was excited before.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 30/01/2019 11:49

Yes go. It will be good for you and therefore him. Take his first answer as well. Nothing worse than a reluctant holiday companion to worry about.

HollowTalk · 30/01/2019 11:58

Do you earn roughly the same amount? What does he like to spend his money on?

Nanny0gg · 30/01/2019 11:59

Is it that holiday or nothing?

Can you not book a summer break that both of you can afford?

Original poster
Nc2201 · 30/01/2019 12:03

Hollow he earns a fair bit more than me. But he spends bigger sums on things like technology, which he is into, whereas I prefer travel. (He also travels for work a few times a year) We usually do go on holiday together and we will definitely be going away in Europe at least when it gets warmer, plus we went away in the new year together. I got a few extra days annual leave this year and really want to go away soon.

OP posts:
Returning2thesceneofthecrime · 30/01/2019 12:03

Don’t let it stop you.

Ideally, you would both be able to go together. But he isn’t interested and you are. Don’t put your life on hold for a man - trust me, that is the voice of experience!

ImMeantToBeWorking · 30/01/2019 12:19

I am in the same situation as you...and I thin you should go!

I went skiing with my family a few weeks ago. DP was invited at the time but due to work wasn't sure could he get the time off so close to Christmas. So I booked to go without him. The day before I went he said he wished he had booked to come along but it was too late at that stage.

No point in him holding you back! I am planning a holiday with my friend in September and he won't even be invited as it will just be us girls! But likewise he has a few stags this year, went to Manchester for a weekend last year with the lads for a match. And I happily let him head off when he wants it.

Just because you are in a relationship, does not mean all holidays have to be taken together. My mam and dad holiday separately the last few years and then together too. They are into different things so why not. Mam wants to lie by a pool, and dad wants to be out and about doing things like visiting war museums. Does not make them less of a couple, they are still madly in love!

Musti · 30/01/2019 12:28

I don't understand why it would bother him if he can't take time off work and spends his money on his technology. It's only a week.

Fr3d · 30/01/2019 12:29

If it was your only holiday this year, that wouldn't be very fair but as it's not.....Go for it! Enjoy

cakecakecheese · 30/01/2019 12:33

He doesn't want to feel guilty about not going but doesn't mind making you feel guilty about going?

It's not like you didn't ask him and you are planning a trip another time with him, so I really don't see why you shouldn't go.

Br3adnButt3rPud · 30/01/2019 12:34

Enjoy your holiday !

Wingedharpy · 30/01/2019 12:43

Book to go with your friend - win, win.
It sounds like your DP doesn't want to go but feels guilty about that.
If you have other company, he has no reason to feel guilty.
I go away with a DGF a few times each year, often to places DH and I have visited.
It's a completely different holiday experience though I enjoy both.
It's good to have separate experiences as well as mutual ones with your DP.
Just a thought, if he travels with work he may not feel the same need for a change of scene that you do.
Go for it and enjoy.

.

category12 · 30/01/2019 12:51

Go.

Why should his misplaced guilt stop you from going? Surely he ought to feel just as guilty (if not more) , if you gave up the trip because of him?

That's his emotion, for him to deal with: it's not your job to sacrifice something you want to do so he doesn't have to manage an uncomfortable feeling.

rosebristol60 · 30/01/2019 14:39

definately go on your own, my friends and family like their beach holidays whilst i am a mountain walker and skier, so if i never went on my own i would never go, and its nice not to have anyone else to worry about and just potter around

HollowTalk · 30/01/2019 14:43

He can afford to go but wants to spend his money elsewhere. That's fine, but don't let him guilt trip you into not going.

Mitzimaybe · 30/01/2019 15:21

You earn less than him but pay 50% of the bills etc. You can afford it, he prefers to spend his spare cash on technology. You have enough leave to take (as well as a joint holiday.) He doesn't.

It's a no-brainer. Go. Enjoy! Do not feel guilty about it.

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