Name changed for obvious reasons. Sorry this is a bit long.
I'm coming to the conclusion I am in an emotionally abusive relationship and he has so much control over me. I have been with my partner 2 years, lived together 1 year. I met him in a pretty vulnerable place in my life and he basically lovebombed me. Now he has me living with him I feel very trapped and walking on egg shells.
He has paid for things to help me out and I now owe him money, so if I spend anything on myself now, I am made to feel guilty that I haven't given that money to him to pay off my debt (which I am paying off every single month). Everything is about his needs and making sure he is ok, he's very selfish and my emotions do not seem to matter.
I am working 5 days a week with two small children, whilst struggling with BPD because I have been made to feel like I need to earn more money by him. He has told me I need to lose weight for him to propose to me, like it is some incentive. He doesn't believe that binge eating disorder exists and that his emotional abuse is making me eat and gain weight. He pushed me into an abortion I didn't want then once it was done he gave me no support (he left me driving his car back to get fixed whilst I was physically losing the baby). Any disagreement leads him to threatening breakup. I stupidly have given up my home for this person and now have no where to go and money owed to him. I have since found out he has been charged with harassment by two ex girlfriends who left him and he ended up going into a mental hospital for suicide attempts.
I am lost so scared how to leave with two small children. He can be lovely and kind and horrible the next. I have no money and i'm scared to change my daughters school again and worried he would try to do something to hurt me when I left.